#though actually if you do read the poem it fits their dynamic

[adhd-merlin]

She looks at Merlin from under heavy eyelids, drinking in the sight of him before he has to slip away and back to the quarters he shares with Gaius. He’s quiet, as if lost in thought — his cheek pillowed on his hand, while with the other he plays with a stray tendril of her hair, twirling it between his fingers. Gwen is looking right at him, and he is touching her, and yet it still feels so unreal to have him there, in bed with them, half-naked. She thinks of the night that started it all — an innocent conversation, a playful remark, Arthur’s shock at hearing about her kiss with Merlin turning into mortified arousal. “Do you remember the first time I kissed you?” she asks, out of the blue. Merlin’s hand stops and he glances worriedly at Arthur. It makes Gwen laugh because it’s unexpected, and ridiculous — that he should worry about this, after all they’ve done. As if they hadn’t coaxed him into it. “Oh, he knows,” Gwen reassures him. Arthur snorts softly into her neck. “You were just about conscious,” he drawls. “If anything, Guinevere is the one who should apologise to you.” Gwen pokes him in the side with her elbow. “I thought he had died!” “I didn’t mind,” Merlin interjects, and there’s a grin hidden in the curve of his mouth. “Clearly,” Arthur says, dryly.

from Call It Anything We Want on AO3

[aster-aspera]

hi, ive been LOVING your odydio series, can you share a little about your writing process? how do you find a thread to write around, and how do you remain so consistent with your gorgeous character work? 🙏🙌

This took me so long to answer im so sorry lmao But thanks so much for the ask!! I love chatting about my writing process. Though honestly I always find it a little hard to explain how I write, as it’s a very intuitive process and I don’t tend to do a lot of planning or anything But let me answer this question in opposite order, starting with my characters :) For me, I never start writing fic immediately, I first take a while to sort of shape the characters in my head and play out stories and scenarios with them first. Some of those stories eventually make it to ao3, most will just stay forever in my brain. And something that really helps inform how i want to write and interpret a character beside the source material is actually other people’s fanfiction! Which sounds counterintuitive, because most would counsel to stay away from fanworks to avoid writing a fanon version of the characters. But when I just read the source material, especially when the source material is in a very different style than my own fics, i really struggle to conceptualise the characters. So seeing them through the lens of other people’s writing makes me identify what works and what doesn’t work in my own interpretations. I think i read through all the odydio fics before i started writing wishbone lmao As for finding a thread to work around, like i said, im a very intuitive writer, and my work is highly emotions based. So every scene i write tends to have one singular goal: either exploring a characters mental state, or the relationship between two (or more) characters. Everything in the scene is there to facilitate that goal. My personal opinion when writing is that all plot has to support the characters and and all worldbuilding exists solely to support the plot and therefore the characters and their emotional journey. Its basically all set dressing for the real story i want to tell, which is for the most part a character study Because i try to keep my writing very focused, i do feel like i miss out on writing some cool things. For example the version of Palamedes’ death i chose to use in my fic in not personally my favourite one, i actually love the version where odysseus frames him as a trojan traitor. But i chose to use the drowning version, because setting up the whole plotline for the framing thing would have led me too far away from the point of that scene, which was to show how Diomedes still followed Odysseus into something he didn’t want to do So in general when planning out a scene i just have one central concept that the whole scene takes its shape around, instead of the themes conforming to fit the story, if that makes sense I tend to get my inspiration for the themes and dynamics i want to explore from the writings of others (the original idea of Diomedes with cotard's syndrome is directly inspired by aegialia’s ‘two lions at midnight’ and 'Smoke and Mirrors' by cygniavenue and procrastinatingbookworm ). Other than that, the wishbone series obviously takes a lot of inspiration from the poem wishbone by richard siken (i actually always had the poem next to me while writing) The poem really inspired my view on the dynamic between odysseus and diomedes and was my starting point for the series

[luvnami]

hi Ai!! I wanted to ask if you could yap about your streamer!sanemi fic >u< I'd love to hear what you have in mind for it, whatever you want to share!

HIIIIIIII ZEEEEEEEEEEE oh my god meow ok im gonna put it under the cut cause its a lot

i read a poem on tiktok by @/whispersintheabyss (its their yin and yang poem, day 20/21). its originally a mlm poem but the tldr is that the protag goes to a diner bc their mom set up a date for them, but a random person keeps the protag company while their date is late. eventually the protag and person fall in love (it's a lot more than this, but this is just a brief overview)

ive been talking with my friends about dating and life recently, especially since one of my friends is feeling really pressured by her parents to find a partner. ive had my own talks with my mom, and that whole topic abt love and marriage and dating feels very... heavy and stressful. ive also been struggling with direction in life (no college, no job), so i wanted to write smth that people could relate to! facing all these big decisions and feeling like youve fallen short of something you couldve been. im rambling a bit, but i promise ill get to the streamer part soon ><

i kind of want to emulate the whole 'arranged date' and 'run in with a stranger' thing with reader and sanemi, where streamer!sanemi feels bad watching reader wait for their date. i was also thinking of maybe reader being a casual viewer of sanemi's streams, so they recognise him and kind of laugh at the coincidences. i want them to find comfort in each other, e.g. late nights where reader can't sleep and they watch sanemi's streams to feel less lonely, or sanemi is feeling overwhelmed with the need to perform on stream so they feel relaxed being just himself around the reader

maybe i'll throw in a bit of streamer drama... i've been around these sorts of social circles so i have a fair idea of what happens (LOL)... it's probably gonna be slowburn (im sorry im such a sucker for exploring the developing dynamics of a relationship), i really want to emphasise reader's struggle to get their life back 'together' and the strains of having a viewer become more than just a face in the crowd for sanemi

this is just a huge thought so idk if i'll actually have the strength to do it... im already running out of steam for office romcom (though i swear its just the next arc that's hard to write) buttttttt i'll do my best!!!! i wanted to write a whole bunch of fics that would fit in my 'in every universe' series. i realised i never really explained, but i wanted to write about how sanemi never prioritises his own happiness in the canon timeline. its always his family, genya, masachika, never himself in the front seat. so, every fic under the series is supposed to be a separate timeline where sanemi finds his own happiness and soulmate :3 including office romcom, including this streamer fic, and a whole bunch of other one shots i have planned

[danpuff-ao3]

2022 Standouts - Yet Another Rec List

Okay, LISTEN. There was lots of greatness to be had in 2022. This is not my fault. This is all of your faults. This is what you all get for having so much talent and passion for fandom!! Some of us are overly excitable and chatty and can't shut up!!

In fairness, one can never spread too much goodness and positivity. If I talk about the same fics, the same creators, and make new lists every other day, it's all born out of love and appreciation, which the world could use plenty of! And with that said, these are all my own opinions and preferences so please keep that in mind!

So...here we go?? Should I do a Top 22???? That seems fitting.

1.) Post Mortem [fic, Snarry, E, 17k] by @inarticulateimbecile. I'm still dying over how fabulous this is. The characterizations, the dynamic, the descriptions...chef's kiss, truly. This might be one of my new favorites. (Also this Snarry art they did as a runner up, though all of their art just does things to me.) (I really would have thought art would have been their mention on this list, but no, they had to go be a great writer, as well!! Rude of them, really.)

2.) Slipping [fic, Snarry, 11k] by @bluesundaycake are you kidding me???? This is fabulous. Gritty postwar story that is too real with our hero, Harry, not "living up" to his potential, and not having the happily ever after he so deserves with a bittersweet, hopeful ending. Just lovely.

3.) The Lover and the Boytoy [fic, Drucius, Snaco, Draco/Snape/Lucius, E, 10k] by @fleetingdesires. Why the heck are my friends so talented?? This is offensive. And like...I clicked it for the Malfoycest?? And I left with Snucius feels?? What the heck. Just ??? Brain melted, all I can say.

4.) Clip, Ravel, Cleave [fic, Andromeda/Bellatrix, Andromeda/Ted, E, 15k] by @vdoshu. It was hard to narrow it down to one doshu work because wow they've done the dang thing this year!!!! So much great variety, but this one really blew me away. However toxic and dark the sisters' relationship was, I was rooting for them and heartbroken for them. What a beautiful, dark, sad story.

5.) Wind and Cardamom [podfic, Angelina/Hermione, G, 5 minutes] by JocundaSykes (fic by Arsenic). All of Joc's podfics are truly so, so good. Her voice work is always amazing and I easily can (and have!) listened to her read all day. Nothing like having a good fic read to you while doing chores, let me tell you!

6.) Lover's Flight [poem, Snarry, T, 200] by PinaNaponi (@vulnerasanenturmyprince.) My dear Nina is another case of "stupidly talented friends" and "hard to narrow down", but since I've waxed poetic about some of her other works recently, and in other lists, I figured I'd shed some light on this lovely thing. It's an adaptation of Goethe's "Elf King."

7.) Compulsory Figures [fic, Snarry, 6] by @liladiurne. Listen, my lovely Lila has arguably "better" works, and more "literary" works, but...her smut speaks to me, okay? I read this and was like "Ooooh, Lila can be FILTHY." I'm obsessed with it. Even back when it was just an idea and she was brainstorming it, I was obsessed. In fact, I was grocery shopping with my partner and being useless because I couldn't stay away from our DMs talking about said idea! Then she actually wrote and posted the dang thing and !!!! Obsessed.

8.) Some morning cuddles and coffee [art, Linny] by @luendland. Lu's snarry art is great, but they also do other ships (and characters) too and equally as lovely!! This Linny one speaks to my heart. It's so warm and lovely and gives me all the feels. I do digging for it to fawn over fairly often!

9.) Alphard's Favourite [fic, Sirius/Peter, Sirius/Alphard, M, 4k] by @thistlecatfics. Another top tier fic from Blackcest Fest! Not a ship I ever had interest in but oh gosh. The complicated characterization of Peter, the screwy interactions between him and Sirius, the way Sirius acts out as a way of dealing with trauma. It's such difficult subject matter treated in such a realistic manner. Not "good", not "easy", not "romantic", just that gritty, awful realness of how trauma impacts us, and how we don't always handle it in perfect, ideal ways.

10.) Untitled Harrymort Art [art, Harrymort] by @mrviran. I have no words. This isn't even my ship. But good golly is this spicy hot!! The corset! The sweat! Voldemort's smug, amused, mischievous little grin! Those red eyes and the red string!!!! Wooooo boy.

11.) Death and the Snarry [art, Snarry] by @necromanticnoir. This is another case of "I expected one thing from this creator, but my top choice for them is another??" Great writer is Noir, but also artist???? Multi-talented folk are killing me, I stg. And like...I need more Snarry versions of Klimt works, truly. So gorgeous!

12.) even the stars admire you [art, Snarry] by @acydpop. Speaking of Snarry versions of Klimt, THIS GORGEOUS THING. I'm so obsessed. Look at those colors!! Look at that embrace!!! Oh geez, I'm having feelings.

13.) Tom Riddle: interview with @phantomato [podcast] by @fanficmaverickpodcast. ChaosBlue is a great host and listening to writer interviews is always such a treat! And hearing what Phantomato had to say here was super fascinating, and made me much more intrigued by the Tom Riddle/Voldemort character!

14.) Snape's Hungry for a Snaco...[podcast, Snaco] by @careofmagicalshippers. Every episode of this podcast is great. Megs and Nathan are charismatic, hilarious, passionate hosts and listening to them chat is always such a fun time. Even guest episodes, even when Megs or Nathan is out, they have such interesting people to talk to and such interesting ships to talk about. This Snaco episode in particular spoke to me! (Especially since they went into it intending to cover Snack, but moved onto Snaco fairly quickly...I don't blame them!)

15.) When the Rose and the Fire Are One [ficbinding, Snarry] by @witchyficbindery. The fic by perverse_idyll is just stunning, as all of her works are! I believe earlier this year I was chatting about how I'd love to have fics on my shelf and what I imagined they might look like. And I thought "this fic would have to be STUNNING, just visually stunning." And midway through this year, I saw this post about an actual ficbinding of this fic! And...I was correct. And completely blown away. This cover is more gorgeous than I could have imagined. All of witchyficbindery's bindings are so, so outstanding. I can't imagine how they do it! But this one is the clear standout to me.

16.) 22 femslash recs from 22 years [rec list] by @consistentsquash. Squash always has the best recs, I stg!! Writer crushes I've had, but reccer crushes?? Such good taste, and always such good things to say. And this list especially is great with lots of gems for wlw content!

17.) Traid/Threesome recs [rec list] by @sitp-recs. Liv is a Queen Reccer, truly! This one is especially nice with options for Drarry+ ships, and non-Drarry ships, and a few bonus moresome fics! Lots of good stuff on this list, and more for me to check out! (RIP my TBR, fr.)

18.) The Bravest Man [fan-comic, Snarry, T] by @ac1d6urn. Acid is such a very skilled creator, both as a writer and an artist! The story, the characterizations, the art...all so stunning and perfect!

19.) Snitches and Songs [fic, Snarry, E, 50k] by @lizzy0305. When I tell you how PUMPED I was to see when this story was posted. Lizzy fic? Check. Severus sings? Color me intrigued. 'Magical tattoos'? Sign me UP. Then...I spent ages waiting to read it because I'm weird and like to "save" things that I know are going to be good. And I was right to save it! (Also: I should have read it sooner!) (Please don't expect my brain to do logic, because it will not.) What a gorgeous and enjoyable love story this was! My plan is to give this one a reread soon, actually; with luck, in January! (And I'll have the time and energy to do so!)

20.) A Life Worth Remembering [Snarco, E, 22k] by @writcraft. When Writ first reached out to me, I had to be like "okay, self, be cool. Don't fangirl and scare them off, okay?" Turns out, Writ is a lovely human and hearing they were coming back to Snarry had me just plain ecstatic!! And while Snarco isn't always my jam, I did know how invested they were in writing it, and couldn't resist checking it out! And I'm so glad I did!! One, because Writ's work is always fantastic. Two, because...I was sold on Snarco???? Maybe???? Or as close as I get to being sold. Geez Louise. It's such an interesting tale of de-aged Snape, the memories he lost, the established Drarry, and how they all come together. Their dynamic as a triad, and the individual pairs that make it up (Drarry, Snarry, and Snaco), and the individual people are all so lovely and well done!!

21.) Obedience Lessons [Snarry, E, 7k] by @likelightinglass. Um, how many times have I read this story this year? Too many, probably. (Is there such a thing as too many? Who knows.) ANYWAY. A/B/O with Alpha Harry and Omega Snape???? Yes please and thank you. All the kink and spiciness that I love. 100% did it for me (multiple times.)

22.) The Afterlight [Snarry, E, WIP] by @perverse-idyll. Good golly. Can I tell you how overjoyed I was when PI first posted this???? New PI Snarry???? All of my hopes and dreams coming true, awesome. And it's only 4 chapters in (out of ????) and so far, so GREAT. Postwar, death themes, gritty realism, A+++ characterizations, dark and spicy Snarry dynamic!!!! I don't often read WIPs (my patience is nonexistent, and not knowing how things end is bad for my anxiety (let's please not talk about my undying love and need of spoilers)), but this is totally worth it. I'll wait forever and a day for this fic if I have to. PI has been among my favorite authors for YEARS and for good reason. Characterization and relationships always so on point and exactly what I want and need. Not to mention gorgeous, stunning, unforgettable prose. The words that strike right through the heart, and burrow in to live there forever. Genuinely, PI's work is always stellar, and I already feel in my bones this will be a favorite. It's already the WIP I most look forward to update emails for! (Not that I have many, in fairness.) (Again, I generally steer clear of WIPs; no offense WIP writers. It's for my own good, I swear!) Side note: PI is another excellent human who I so appreciate knowing. Thanks for always taking time to listen to my babbling, especially knowing how busy you always are!

[corvidmasters]

Pls just short infos about macha relationship with all the hindu servants

ok i will try to be as brief as possible [CHALLENGE] [IMPOSSIBLE] (ashwatthama and karna (very long) here)

bhima

Contracted. To Macha, he is something like an in-law she has to impress, and so her teasing tendencies completely evaporate when he's present. Bhima is quite pleased that Arjuna found someone important to him, but she's a lot stiffer than what he hears about...she's trying to impress him, isn't she? Relax!

"...On second thought, if there's one place I'd like you to try and impress me it's the kitchen, so please don't make things like 'cinnamon ravioli cereal' ever again."

duryodhana

Not contracted (Master: Badb). Their entire relationship is colored by Badb being Duryodhana's Master. Macha knows schemers since she is one, so she likes to warn Duryodhana that she's got two of the five Pandavas contracted to her if he tries anything with her little brother. Duryodhana thinks she's creepy, batshit and overprotective, but she's also not completely wrong in that yeah his new Master is kind of easy to convince if you just give him a little love but he's being gooood he's a good Servant cmaaaan he's just a little birthday boy

rama

Not contracted (Master: Ritsuka). The American Singularity and his arrival at Chaldea inspired her to read the Ramayana, though she's been slower to it than the Mahabharata. As such, she will occasionally request he tell her stories to bypass her backlog, though he finds her arrogant for boldly making such a request of a king...even so, he indulges her. To his satisfaction, she's genuinely enthralled.

Later on, she learns that Valmiki may not have had anything to do with the Uttara Kanda (the part where Sita is exiled), so she ponders quietly about it when she sees him sometimes.

ganesha/jinako

Contracted. With Karna unable to recognize Jinako but Jinako clearly wanting their old relationship back, Macha feels oddly guilty about being the one to summon her and not Tanya. She expresses this guilt in subtle(?) ways by scooping Jinako up when she goes to see Karna for something. They have strange power struggles over who should be the "big sister" in their dynamic, and Jinako thinks she's good-hearted but goes about it in dumb ways (that can and will inconvenience her urge to crawl into her shell).

Seeing Karna in a completely different situation through Jinako's dreams was certainly the experience of all time.

kama

Not contracted (Master: Aimi). I haven't read Ooku yet but I know why it happened and the gist so bear with me this will be short (there was a period where I ignored FGO for a while before dropping it entirely and Ooku happened during that time).

To Kama, Macha is a little disgusting in how she so clearly does things out of love constantly. On the flip side, Macha is actually somewhat afraid of her. Upon seeing this and her obvious fondness for Arjuna, Kama hinted that Macha will have a "wonderful experience" soon (LB4), which scared Macha even more.

parvati

Not contracted (Master: Undecided). Like the Kama section this'll be a little short. Sorry for being a Sakura fan who knows so little about the Sakuraface everyone was waiting for I won't do it again

Macha is not stirred by Parvati's motherliness or kindness, though she can appreciate it on a superficial level (she has issues so she personally sees Medea as a motherly figure). Despite her fear of Kama, Macha can understand her more, and Parvati is somewhat of an enigma. On the flip side, Parvati can clearly see she's a bit of a troubled child...though Macha seems almost repelled by her sympathy, so she's at a loss.

lakshmibai (i...i guess she counts doesn't she huh.)

Not contracted (Master: Undecided, tempted to tell Tanya's mama that she's a good fit). She is familiar with Lakshmibai through Subhadra Kumari Chauhan's poem Jhansi Ki Rani. She believes that Lakshmibai was an incredible person...even when Lakshmibai makes her distaste for Macha's actions during the Indian Lostbelt clear. Macha understands and tries to not bother her much.

Completely unrelated to the question but the Lakshmibai in their Chaldea wears historically correct clothing. One day Takeuchi and I will have both bitten the dust and I'll hunt him down in the afterlife for this one.

vritra

Contracted. There's something incredibly chaotic about having two chaos agents be Master and Servant, and even more chaotic in that they both derive joy from their objects of torment overcoming the challenge that has been put before them. Of course, Macha can tell very well that Vritra is in it to witness the outcome of Macha's (and Chaldea's) struggle as well, so she more than happy to work hard to show Vritra a good ending.

durga/kali

[freddie-mercury-rising]

Cuéntame, guapa 👀❤️

🌈

🌿

💝

🤍

Gracias, amiga! 🌈is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with? I think that I worked hard to make “It Happened One Night” fit the period and the characters. I don’t think people would know because I based it off a movie, so it seems like it would be easy to just follow that format and insert the characters, but sometimes I struggled a lot with how to make it true to the era and to their personalities. It comes across so light that I think it masks the fact that I often was very stuck on how to progress a scene. 🌿how does creating make you feel?

My first thought was to say *creative*. LOL I think I just feel like I can get away from the stressors of my regular life when I am creating fan fiction. I read novels for a similar reason, because it is a sense of escapism. With fan fiction, though, I also feel that I am giving other people some sense of joy with my writing. Even if it is only a handful of people who are reading and enjoying it, that still makes me feel good.

💝what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

Since I’m not very well-versed in A/B/O dynamics, I really did my A/B/O Jimercury fic on a whim, just to try my hand at it. I wasn’t sure how it was going to go, because that genre isn’t really my jam. But it’s actually got a lot more kudos and hits than I would have imagined. That was surprising! 

Also, I used to be constantly surprised at how many *dumb* comments I used to get on random stories, like “Freddie would never eat that much in a single day!” One such instance was when my Freddie rent-boy fic got a bunch of random, inane and rude comments. So, that wasn’t what I was expecting at all. Luckily, that doesn’t happen anymore!

🤍what's one fic of yours you think people didn't "get"?

Hmm, I had to really think to find one, because I haven’t really thought that people didn’t “get” my stuff as much as perhaps that it just didn’t quite jive with their taste, etc. Perhaps “In a Minute There is Time” comes to mind, which is a collection of poems and vignettes spanning Freddie’s life. I only say that because it is a unique format and maybe not to everyone’s liking. I did get some lovely comments on it, so I assume some people did get it. And I am always just surprised and flattered when people do leave such lovely comments.

[occasionally-victor]

"Let's dance! (The dance of death)" — Last Life!Grian&Mumbo playlist

+ songs that are not in the playlist for one or another reason, but they need to be mentioned as they were in the first drafts of a playlist year ago: Madds Buckley - The Red Means I Love You (G); Hamilton - You'll Be Back (G); Tom Lehrer - The Masochism Tango (M); Ferry - anger management – жаль (Both); Hooverphonic - Mad About You (G);

some notes (mostly doing the *points on lyrics* "THEM!" thing):

The part where i do a bit more talking for one or another reason:

Ferry's songs (DEAD HAND, Occam's razor, dopamine_machine, Convergence) are talked about in this post (clickable).

Danse macabre is here because i was describing their dynamic as "some sort of 'danse macabre'" because this tone poem (i looked it up in Wikipedia lmao) was getting recommended to me the whole time and i guess the name of it really got into my head (oooh dance, ooooh of death). The fun part of it, i haven't even listened to it until after 7th session, so i was very pleasantly surprised to hear that it actually fits (here my criteria was "can i daydream about an animatic with this song?" and yes, i could (basically, the pacing and the vibe of the Danse macabre fit the story))

The Front Bottoms - Be Nice To Me & Mumford & Sons - Little Lion Man: so, these two are grouped together. Why? Because when talking about my boys I'm mostly looking at first verses (well basically everything before second verses) of each (as you could see in my little spreadsheet, Be Nice To Me is applied to Mumbo (theres also an animatic (clickable) i found, it basically shows what i mean here) and Little Lion Man is applied to Grian). But hey, what about the second verses? Well, it's just theres another LL duo these two songs fit very well (Ethubs. I'm talking about Ethubs. Be Nice To Me - Bdubs, Little Lion Man - Etho). This makes sense in my head and i needed to explain my vision and it does go deeper than that.

Will Wood and The Tapeworms - -ish: i added it here because of this animatic (clickable). what more do you want from me, i am a simple man.

Unknown Mother Goose - Will Stetson (English cover, og - wowaka): ok, so at first i wanted to just put some lyrics here, but then i realized i just started copying the whole song, so yeah. i will just put this part, because i really like it: "I’ve grown to take it, the pain welling in me, the breaking and hurting//Joy, grief, rage, and pleasure, they all blend together, through every endeavor//If happiness that I cherish is real and is out there somewhere lost on this earth//Will I wander forever and ever in agony in this darkened and cold world//As the blackened, the sheep that will never belong anywhere as I live forever?//--Don’t leave me like that!"

Jhariah - The Great Tale Of How I Ruined It All: "In the lens through which some eyes will see//This tale is one of failure//And though I don’t think I’m your enemy//I’ll never be your savior//And in the lens through which some eyes will see//This tale is one of victory//And though I don’t think I’m a failure//I don’t deserve your sympathy" - this part is totally the only reason this song in this playlist HOWEVER! The whole song is actually very much post 6th-7th session Southlands vibe.

Kenshi Yonezu - Décolleté: funny example of "I'm aware that this song in fact doesn't fit at all (i have read the translation), but the vibes captivated me so much so i just. decided to ignore text at all"

The main part №1:

The Puget Sound - Terrified of You: ok i was trying to get some of the lyrics here (specifically the part from 1:40 to 2:05-ish), but i literally cant understand what some of the words are. Like, i get the meaning of the sentence, yeah, but the words. That's what i get for putting an old ass song with less than 70 views here.

Flira - My Eyes Your Eyes: another one of "bitch i wish there were some lyrics online" because im annoyed that i can't pick up all words. However, i can say, that it was 5:19-5:42 part that made me add this song to the playlist.

Shayfer James - Bayonnettes: "And his eyes speak his past//Colorful, wild and totally ruthless" • "In a fight to the death//Where these broken promises fix bayonnettes" • "And that look in your eye//Is certain to try and divide us//As the sun in it's sky//Is threatening, is threatening violence"

Will Wood - Kill me if you can: "Fix that twitch, it makes me fiddle like a schizophrenic, how am I gonna get through my life like this?//Neurotic and catatonic, idiotic, not enough psychoticism to corroborate the sin" • "Take me towards the light//When it leaves my eyes//Give me a sec to catch my dying breath//Forgive me if I cross the flatline" • "Six-feet deep from six-foot-tall, don't bother, give it some, or lose it all//Please come kill me, kill me if you can"

The Brobecks - Die alone: "Can I die away from you?//What you do, it isn't ordinary too//There's nothing to do, but lie//I guess I'll die, guess I'll die a lonely guy"

Shayfer James - Grind My Bones: "I am a moment slowly dying//Soon I will only cross your mind from time to time" • "Now as the walls around us crumble//Watch all the idiots and hypocrites rebel//You are two dashes and a number//And all of your complaining couldn't save you from yourselves" • "Oh I was lost and nothing found me//You better know that when I go//I'm going fast"

Jhariah - PRESSURE BOMB 3?!?!: "Slow down//Those words mean nothing//My brain just revs up faster//Pressure bomb in a goddamn knife fight" • "Ecstatic pathways runaway, flood my mind//Overstimulation makes me feel like I’m alive" • "It drives me forward every moment//Makes sure I don’t stop too long to//Smell the flowers//I been here too long, I might burn up and explode"

The Crane Wives - Curses: "There's a fire in my brain and I'm burning up//Oh my, oh my//Keep running for the sink but the well is dry//Oh my, oh my" • "Every word I say is kindling//But the smoke clears when you're around//Won't you stay with me, my darling//When my walls start burning down, down, down?" • "Oh ashes, ashes, dust to dust//The devil's after both of us//Oh, lay my curses out to rest//Make a mercy out of me" • "All my aching bones are trembling//And I may yet fall apart//Won't you stay with me, my darling//When the war starts in my heart?"

Des Rocs - Used to the Darkness: "I've made mistakes, the Lord struck me down//Caught in a landslide, lost underground" • "And then my eyes got used to the darkness//And everyone that I knew//Was lost and so long forgotten after you" • "Now would you pray before you twist the knife?//Yeah, would you take my hand and take a life?" • "And now there's no one else left to love//I'm used to the darkness, I'm used to the darkness"

Ricky Montgomery - Snow: "When I go, bury me six feet in snow" • "Here we are wasting our chances for the last time//Oh, and when we go I'll try not to be so slow" • "Say it once, say it twice, try to be nice//Well, let's not lose ourselves" • "Summer's over, love had left her screaming at the screen//Oh, and it's understood that the both of us are no good"

QUEEN - Will Stetson (English cover, og - Kanaria): "Lie, bye Baby//My, my, my life//Give me your hand, we'll dance a tune throughout the night so//Lie, bye Baby//My, my, my life//That's the signal you're fading from the light//My love" • "One, my only self is jumping for love//The dreams are never enough//Too far away to touch" • "Overflowing, Overflowing//It really takes me back into the end we left to die//You never know it, You never know it//It's falling//Cry cry cry" • "Nebulous, abandonment, a weapon//I'm none and no one, never needed I cling//With hazy eyes in the night, loving words to disguise//Stuck crying out for the world that wasn't mine//Those fates all just remain in place, no matter//How hard you fight the future never will change//My vision's starting to fade//Heart's a smoldering flame//They sing in shame for a spark we couldn't make, my love"

Jhariah - Needed a Change of Pace: "I’m so glad I woke up today//A different life in a brand new place//I think I maybe outgrew the last//I needed a change of pace//No more talk of what my burdens say//They’ve been left behind, and that’s where they will stay" • "Oh, how could you love me so?//Oh, with all I’ve done and the things you know?//My dearest, you better never forgive me//'Cause if you forget what I’ve done, I’ll do it again" • "I died that night and killed god in the morning//Left without a warning or even informing the coroner//I was a foreigner//Never belonged in that place, played along in that place//Till I had enough of the games//I couldn’t find the time from the afterlife//To apologize or even say goodbye"

GARANDO/AIRHEAD - djalto (English cover, og - Picon): "So it was just me and you//Such a stupid rendezvous//And now look at us both//Indifferent and disconnect, just barely hangin' on. Just what i thought" • "Sure, I already know what I'm crying for//The same old "goodbye", i've seen it all before//Is it okay if i stoop this low, low, low?" • "Remember those glaring eyes of yours//Just stabbed my soul straight down to the core//While we danced in room number 10884//From dusk till dawn" • "Living life everyday just sucks me dry//Even "sleeping forever" sounds way more fun//Then it's fine for me to stoop this low, low, low"

EYE - Will Stetson (English cover, og - Kanaria): "Pray for me while my mind is flickering, burning//Thirteen, fourteen, rotting and eating spices as we please, see//Watch me sleep with a dagger up my sleeve, hurting//Thirty, forty, stabbing like crazy, smiling as I bleed, see" • "L-L-LIFE, you and me, E-E-EYE, and so we//Play bad and hold on tight and lie and lie and lie and lie//K-K-KNIFE, you and me, E-E-EYE, already//There’s evil deep inside, a lie and lie and lie and lie" • "Without behaving to please//They flow and bleed, all of the words I set free"

Will Wood - and if i did, you deserved it: "and we're alone now//high up and low down" • "you know i'm not the type of guy to turn my back on a knife//it's just my luck these motherfuckers talking smack on a guy//but i'm deserving every word they could begin to apply" • "i really don't care what you think or what you say//i'm a cancer, i'm malignant, yeah, you oughtta stay away//my heart's fucking empty and i trying to fill it up//but it's not big enough for the both of us//no it's not big enough for the both of us" • "if i keep beating myself up//i'll keep on winning the fight//and get my ass kicked//i'm poisonous, not toxic" • ""don't meet you idols"//hey, fuck you, i'm your idol!"

The Crane Wives - Know How: "I am not brave, I am not brave//I blind my eyes to what won't stay//You kissed my mouth, you pushed me out//And now I'm struggling to free myself" • "I gotta wrap my head around//What my heart is telling me//I've been trying to drown it out//Just because I know what I am//I am supposed to do now//Doesn't mean I know//Doesn't mean I know how"

Mother Mother - Burning Pile: "All my style, all my grace//All I tried to save my face//All my guts, try to spill//All my holes, try to fill" • "It goes, all my troubles on a burning pile//All lit up and I start to smile//If I catch fire then I'll change my aim//Throw my troubles at the pearly gates"

The Crane Wives - Never Love an Anchor: "And I tried to do the best that I could//But try as I might I couldn't bring myself to hold you" • "With this heart of mine that's guilty not remorseful//There is love that doesn't have a place to rest//But it would have buried you if it had settled on your shoulders" • "I am selfish, I am broken, I am cruel//I am all the things they might have said to you//Do you ever think of me and my two hands//... //And wondered why they never held you gently//And wondered why they never had the chance to lose you?"

Shayfer James - Godspeed: "There’s many ways to hide a heart that bleeds//But I prefer the ease of rolling up my sleeves" • "I used to be someone that you could believe//But it’s been a while, been a while" • "Let me not make mazes with words//Get yourself, get the hell, get yourself out of here" • "Good luck, godspeed, I know I’ll see you again//I’ll always call you a friend indeed"

Fall Out Boy - Miss Missing You: "Don't panic, no, not yet//I know I'm the one you want to forget//Cue all the love to leave my heart//It's time for me to fall apart" • "Now you're gone, but I'll be okay//Your hot whiskey eyes have fanned the flame//Maybe I'll burn a little brighter tonight//Let the fire breathe me back to life" • "Sometimes before it gets better, the darkness gets bigger//The person that you'd take a bullet for is behind the trigger//Oh, we're fading fast, I miss missing you now and then"

Eva - Kuraiinu (English cover, og - Hiiragi Kirai): "I want you who’s dying to look at me//Greedily, I hope for what’s blasphemy//All alone, purity then devours my heart//Oh, I wish I could be the Lord of the Flies and restart" • "Hey, how mediocre//Hey, peaceful time is over//I’m so fed up, I’m burning up//I think I’ve had just enough//Hey, how mediocre//Hey, peaceful time is over//Abandon all, just make your call, I’ll still leave after all" • "Tell me why, ah…tell me why//Like a waterfall, all the pain flows down torrentially?//When I desire all your love to only be for me//But it the end it’s all a fantasy" • "In a moment, daydreams are all destroyed//From the core of my being, they rot me away//Those who persevere and survive today//Worry all about the future—who they’ll be, who they’ll betray//They try so hard, but they can’t deny the human nature calling out" • "Don’t dare to be irrational!"

Jhariah - BAD LUCK!: "This time around’s no different//I’ve played with chance like you//I loved to toy with fate//But, oh, I didn’t have a clue//That I would lose, oh, I would lose//... //“You’re not like me, I’m not like you, I’m not who these things happen to“//And that’s exactly what you say before they do" • "Still somehow they’re looking down on me//Laughing ’cause I got what I deserved//(You got what you deserved)//And I would do it again//I’m not sorry, but thank you for enduring me//As long as you did//That’s more than I’d ever ask of you"

Des Rocs - Don't Hurt Me: "But now is not the perfect time//To say I was lonely//To say I wanted the trouble" • "I bet the stars and stones//One hurts and one glows//I bet you think love was none of your business//None of your business" + honestly the chorus part ("Baby, don't hurt me, baby//...") vibes with them really well

Will Wood - I Can't Wait To Die: "You shook my soda, should've owned it, my mistake//Took my volcano, shifted my tectonic plates//I'm at rock bottom out of options or so I hope//'Cuz if I'm not then how much lower should I go" • "I can't wait to die//You've got me so god damn excited, I've been waiting my whole life//I can't wait to die//Can't wait to die, 'cuz you remind me of what it's like to be alive" • "You're close to me enough to breathe secondhand smoke//My misery's now your disease and it loves your company and" • "Never letting no people before I look through the peephole//See no evil, speak no evil, speak to me, no I don't hear you"

Jason Webley - Dance While the Sky Crashes Down: "We've all begun to die and don't know what to do//Since it hurts to pray to God when God is dying too//Takes strength to laugh when you start to drown//And we dance while the sky crashes down" • "Like that the earth begins to quiver//And all the oceans turn to black//A ship of maniacs with knives are playing blackjack with their lives//To kill the time until the giant rats attack" • "A band of skeletons is playing//Don't act like you don't know the tune//Your part is echoed in the path of every dead leaf blowing past" • "And every one of us is damned until we start to understand//That living is to gorge ourselves at our own wakes"

MIRA - Will Stetson (English cover, og - Kanaria): "Too old that I can't get a shake//From dreams a crumblin' away, a self centered hate//Worn down but I'm feelin' the weight//While slowly loosing my place//Too starved of love to wait" • "A superficial trust, an agonizing touch//A portrait drained of blood//Keep away from me my love//I'm doubtful of my love" • "Keep away from me my love//A lame lying love//Burn away your trust, never feel much"

Shayfer James (feat. Will Wood) - Ferryman: "Never again can be innocent//And everything ends, well, it just makes sense//If up has a down there's another side//In there's an out so it's worth a try//People want each other but they want themselves more//Even when your lover's something new to live for//Is to die for, therefore to kill for//Black has white so go to the light, my love" - if I'm being honest, the biggest reason i added this song here is because i really liked the vibe. Like, it works in my head, plus the vibe is the first thing i look in the songs i want to add in this playlist.

tallyhall - Misery Fell: "Why, oh, why this//Town without love too much faith in above?//Can you feel the//Force that it brings not to worry 'bout things?//Just the stars in the sky all enjoying their time//With a hope for peace" - another one of "based on vibes tbh" songs.

tart - enigma: "here we go again//the devil's watching from below//so just keep writing//see it in my eyes//i never wanted to survive//so i'll show you who i've learned to be" • "i've seen a perfect crime//... //i've seen an angel watching devil with his greedy eyes" • "Next comes the pain of the way//You’re falling into me[You’re crashing into me]//I know it’s closed reign[‘Cause in the domain]//But the flame[Of my brain]//Is sinking in again[I’m getting lost again]//See thousands of words through my eyes//And when you finally realize//That you’re the one holding the gun[That I'm the one holding the gun / That you're the one holding the gun]//I’ll say my first goodbye[just recite my goodbye / I'll say my last goodbye]" • "Time’s still turning, yet my memory is running low//... //Tell me now, how do you want this to go//I’ll cast my hand, don’t wanna know" - i decided to color it because it was getting confusing.

Will Wood - Cicada Days: "She said "It just feels inhumane to lose this much."//'Cause when you leave you know you take more than your love//Just one week of cicada days, we're losing touch//And I know it just feels inhumane to lose this much" • "Let all my red flags fade to white, yeah, I give up//Don't let me leave, I'll only take more than I gave//Okay, I'll pack my stuff//Here at the end of days, my god, what have I done?"

cavetown - Pigeon: "Fuzzy feelin' and I miss you//Why can nothing stay the same?//Fuckin' stupid head, I’m gonna kill you//Melt all your art and drink the paint//I am not a beast, I’m not a monster//I don't care what you say//You can’t have the bad guys without a hero//And I’m the only one who’s got a cape" • "Didn’t give me time to say goodbye in the way that I wanted to//So honey close your eyes and stay like you’re supposed to do//Don’t know how I’m gonna live without//But I’ll stay strong for you"

The Amazing Devil - Elsa’s Song: "Your voice it carries over//The hubbub and the hum//And it paints the sky and circles high//Like the beating of a drum//You will scream "I won’t forget you"//But I’ll cover my cold ears//It cannot be a lie//If no-one hears" • "'Cause although you say good day to me//I know I don’t belong//And although you hold my hand and say//"I love you," you are wrong//Because love does not exist here//In this garden, there’s no feeling//And you say the words so often//That I barely know the meaning" • "And then you’ll cry to our painted sky//"I loved him then, I love him still""

The Crane Wives - How to Rest: "Go on stack the cinder blocks in a cold sweat//Build yourself a citadel amid the foothills of regret//And though you've convinced yourself, you're safe and sound within//The thing you fear the most never need get in" • "Those of us who vow never to love again, to love again//Are making liars out of honest men//It's not something that you put to bed//Hang your head and just forget//No, love don't know how to rest"

Mother Mother - Arms Tonite: "I fell in your arms tonight//I fell hard in your arms tonight, it was nice//I died in your arms tonight//I slipped through into the afterlife, it was nice//White light in your arms tonight//I lost sight in your arms tonight, it was nice" • "And hey, you, don't you think it's kinda cute//That I (I) died (Died) right inside your arms tonight?//That I'm fine even after I have died?//Because it was in your arms I died"

The Vultures - Risk It All: "Do you know this certain feeling//This feeling inside of you//Well, maybe you´re not clearly seeing//But I have that feeling too//I´m living an empty heart//Got no reason to feel unwell//But still I crave for more" • "You only live once//You better give it all you got//Yeah you live only once//So you better take that shot//Again and again and again and again//´Till your time is up" • "Truth be told//I can´t hold that feeling anymore//I´m living a lifeless heart//I feel so outworn"

The Vultures - Get What You Want: "It's that time of the night again//I'm thinking of us//My head in the clouds and then//You doubt my trust//I can't change the way i am//At least i would try to do//I want to be together, babe//Together with you" • "You and me, we could be free//Why is this so hard to see?" - more of "based on vibes tbh"

The main part №2 (these songs are not on english, so it's a bit if a warning: in this post i will just use some english translations i found)

Dirt Poor Robins - Enchanté: "Alas, the muses through their glasses//Drift away as only madness//Drowning in the din//Of our animal skins" • "From chagrin I've been released//Paint me in a portrait sans//The fig leaves, fig leaves//And I will not be concerned//Or ignore the things I yearn//My hunger is the rule I cannot overturn" • "Alas, the virtues through their glasses//Hid themselves from our madness//All we have within//Is our animal skins" • "Greet your beast and let 'em streak//Into the fray" • "Enchanté, enchanté, enchanté, enchanté//Name the powers "meteors"//And let us go insane//It's okay, it's okay, it's okay//If we can't raise the dead//We're gonna raise, we're gonna raise//We're gonna raise hell instead"

mewithoutYou - Everything Was Beautiful And Nothing Hurt: "Heard you call for me//Saw you die for me//Only you'd burn for me//If only you'd come for me" • "And so you'll be to me//Who must obliquely run//Thy firmness makes my circle just//And makes me end where I begun" • "There's nothing wrong//As I'll be somewhere singing all along//No! Tell me, where have you gone, my love//Where have you gone my love"

Arctic Monkeys - The Jeweller's Hands: "Fiendish wonder in the carnival's wake//Dull caresses once again irritate//Tread softly, stranger//Move over toward the danger that you seek" • "And now it's no one's fault but yours//At the foot of the house of cards//You thought you'd never get obsessed//You thought the wolves would be impressed//And you're a sinking stone//But you know what it's like to hold the jeweler's hands//That procession of pioneers all drowned" • "The inevitables gather to push you around//Any other voice makes such a punishing sound//He became laughter's assassin//Shortly after he showed you what it was"

Eve ft. 38ban - Therefore You and Me: "Paired up, they mean something//My avatar!//It's two-in-one//You and me//Don't ever let go of what's beloved" • "Therefore//You and me, you and me//You and me, lovey-dovey//As a result of loving//As a result of forgetting//... //As a result of acquiring//As a result of losing//... //As a result of living//As a result of dying" • "Because, I and myself, we're all ghosts//Very selfish ghosts." • "You and me, you and me//You and me, lovey-dovey//As a result of trusting//As a result of being betrayed"

しとお - 枉ゲラルルラララ: "I want a talking partner who yells and fidgets around, badly//I'd just get bored with a sympathetic person//As partners, we'd talk while making weapons with our hands" • "If someone goes bad, grudges will start//If living at limits is a fun thing, well then...//"So, this is a fun thing?"//So basically, you don't even know"" • "Claw-like bullets replaced words, you know, right?//Hey, rely on me//Tell me if it hurts, tell me what you can't say//... //Well, it's definitely your "right thing", so...//Come on, let's play, like we're gonna throw up and really start living!//While being strangled..."

WADATAKEAKI - Green, Green: "We are just hopelessly//Small to make a difference//No matter how much we cry out and butter up//Nothing will change anymore" • "Not so much anymore, fall in line, loss of identity//Hold hands to each other, just to be saved, just to be robbed" • "I don't wanna die without having done something//No afraid if we all hit it"

Kenshi Yonezu - Flamingo: "I can't even laugh at this cheap and lowly fight//The crimson hair ornament you wear. Hated love enemy//I wanna touch the velvet tail of your eye//And that slight cold smile of yours" • "You're floating with a smile, never to return//Leaving only sorrow and jealousy behind//Thanks as always, darlin', can you love me better next time?" • "Oh King of Hell, i appeal to you//Please judge her charms for me//The story of drunk paper-mache doll//Playing this silly game till the day i die"

Lacrimosa - Alleine zu zweit: "At the end of truth//At the end of light//At the end of love//At the end - there are you//(The heart empties - there goes a part of me )//Nothing has survived" • "Lonely - together//We have forgotten to find us a new//Habit gaggs//Dullness suffocates//Arrogance makes you drunk//and closeness drives to flight"

Mozart l'Opéra Rock - L'Assasymphonie: "Tonight, intolerable insomnia//Madness awaits me//I am what i flee from//I endure this cacophony//Which saws my head//Trite harmony" • "The enemy lurking in my mind//Celebrates my defeats//Without respite, he defies me//I renounce the fatal heresy//That eats me away//I wish to be reborn//Reborn" • "The violins of my life weep//The violence of my desires//Deranged symphony" • "I drown my boredom in the music//I kill my fears in the disharmony//I devote my nights to violent symphonies//To requiems//Killing out of spite what i sow//I devote my nights to violent symphonies//And to blasphemies//I admit that i curse all whom love one other"

Hiiragi Kirai - Galleria: "We have nothing left now//That's why we can't be healthy and well//When i realized that//It was too late//Too late//Theres nothing i could do//That's why there's no turning back" • "Please, give me//The life of my dreams//Even though i have nothing left//And couldn't do anything//Are you still going to corrupt my tower of fantasy?//The room with you in there//Was supposed to connect out future//Like a galleria//It should have been like that//Yet here we are" • "I'm sorry//So sorry//I have finally realised//That it's impossible to fulfill my dreams" • "Now i have lost it all//Like nothing left in our galleria//Shouldn't end like this"

Ophelia's English cover of Galleria: "We've not a thing//So it seems, so it seems//That's just exactly why we can't be healthy and free//Deep within my grief//Late to see, late to see//There's nothing I can do//I can't turn back there and leave" • "Begging you, begging you//Vesting in me//Give me a life of all my dreams//If i can't do a thing with nothing, it would seem//Would you still kill my towered fantasy//You're in that room and you stayed there, my love//Joining out futures in galleria//That should have been, that should have been//How we would live" • "Sorry dear, I realised, i realised//The dreams of my own mind//Would've been impossible to bring to light" • "I have lost everything//Even my love//Empty as ever, a galleria//This shouldn't be us"

Segodnyanochyu - Герда, икай: "Listen to the new CD//Don't build illusions and schemes//We all will end badly//Who cares with whom" • "But what are you gonna do if I stay here//If I go off again, go off the slippery rails again//But what are you gonna do if I stay here//Do you want us both to go off the slippery rails?" - i had to translate those bits from russian myself if you even care.

TOOBOE - oxygen: "“Shall we try defiling each other?���//To say everything about thinking like that is beautiful//doesn’t hit the mark, not even close" • "With my bloodshot eyes, everything around me has gone pitch dark//We put it on the table and enjoyed it as if it were delicious" • "I’m sorry, ah, dear sun, please, if I can see it, show your face one more time//How absurd, to think I could just wash it off//Ah, all my life, I’ve been mediocre. You’ll be outnumbered to confront them//if you think it’s going to be easy down the road" • "My heart grew hotter, making my head spin in an instant//If you want to hear the melody that you’re imagining, let out your voice" • "Ah, the treat that we’ve finally got hold of,//as if it was a dream, disappeared with the fog//We took a long hard look at it as we held our breaths"

natori - 猿芝居: "Weatherbeaten and suspicious of you//Only bittersweet irony here//Not even making the slightest movement//At any rate, I've got no time to lose//Intertwining together briefly, hand to hand to hand" // "Ah, let us play, let me play, towards the sound of the applause//Atrocious, boisterous, fastidious//Without any place to go, that's merely rubbing salt into the wound//Look, this night is making a fuss" • "A restless breeze blowing through the greenery//Locking eyes with the quiet beauty, eye to eye to eye//Is that person my rival in love?" • "The two of us, unable to mix//If you leave yourself in the care of this disordered world//I'll say goodbye for now, let us meet again in a city we don't know" • "Ah, what a shameful sight, saying goodbye forever//Becoming more sinful as we seek for one another//Drink it all, until the end, until it's finished//At any rate, I'll be alone in this world"

MARETU - ナミダ: "Getting hurt, you curse the colorful blue sky//With your sadness, you hope for a stormy weather to come" • "A rusted steel, a slashed and tattered armor//For how long will you be wearing it?//The one and only, crystal-clear sincerity you held//Unable to protect it, you let go of your hand and gave it away" • "What must be finished is this resentment//Flowing out with blood, the tears, the tears//Dyeing you in a dark, in a dark color//Unsheathe and draw out, the blade, the blade//The one thing that hasn't stop yet//is your heart." • "I don't know them//All they do is laugh and laugh//All the things I treasured, they were taken away" • "Over and over//as time passes//you are still//unable to be recovered//Now//let's end it//Why//the pain//the blood//the hesitation" • "Get out of my way, these tears! these tears!//You will be burned into crimson red, crimson red, flames.//Cut and slash them down, with the blade, with the blade.//Let the thoughts of yours, awaken from now on." - i found several english translations to this song with slightly different wordings, so of course ive just chosen the one that fits the most (from this video (clickable))

Superfly - Kakusei: "The black sky is appearing//The repeating thunder pulses//Before the storm begins//I will cast that spell on you" • "I will resuscitate//Your lovely heart//Throw off that body//Now it’s time for you to return to me" • "No mater how many times the thunder hits//I will go beyond the darkness while singing"

Mozart l'Opéra Rock - Le bien qui fait mal: "Now where does this strange feeling//Come from//That fascinates me//Just as much as it disturbes me//I shiver, stabbed by the beauty//It's like a knife in my soul//The wound going right through my heart//And I feel joy in the pain//I intoxicate myself with this poison//Until it makes me loose my mind" • "I can feel//A violent urge//I feel like//I'm sliding towards the ground//If I don't find out//Where this plague is coming from//I adore//Having it under my skin//Bewitched by mad ideas//Suddenly//All my cravings take off//The desire becomes my prison//Until I loose my mind"

[problematicfavesareproblematic]

Boys Who Speak With Silver Luck

Joe Liebgott x Reader

Ok, so THIS is more what I was intending to write for you, @itswormtrain​​! Hope you can learn to forgive me!!

This one is a soul sister/unofficial sequel to ‘You’ve Been Sad (Because I’ve Been Lonely)’ bc I’m bad at doing one shots 

Warnings: SMUT, domesticity, fluff, healthy dynamics, poetry being an aphrodisiac, feels(?)

All poetry mentioned is from the anthology No Thanks by ee cummings, and the title is from the song (inspired by 44 by ee cummings) comes from The Boys Are Too Refined by The Hush Sound

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“I still don’t see how you can read those things.”

 You smirk to yourself, nudging his thigh with your foot as he sits at the foot of the bed. 

In retaliation,  Joe lightly traces the tip of his finger up the arch of your right foot and chuckles when you flinch at the tickle of it, the chuckle becoming a laugh when you lower your book and frown at his mirth.

“And here I thought you were actually wanting to do something nice for me,” you tease, letting him pull your foot back into his lap and watching him smirk as he returns to massaging the sore muscles there. “Should’ve known you were gonna betray me eventually….”

 He scoffs at your theatrics, mumbling a soft apology when you hiss in discomfort as his thumb works on a particularly tight knot just above your heel.

 “Why do you wear those things if they hurt your feet so badly?”

 You furrow your brows at him, resting the book on your stomach as you let a smile play on your lips.

 “They’re called heels, and I wear them because they make my legs look amazing.”

 Joe tilts his head to the side as his face takes on a contemplative expression.

  “‘This is true…” he says with a nod. “You look fuckin’ gorgeous in ‘em.”

 You offer a hmph in smug agreement, picking your book back up and continuing where you left off.

 Tonight had been the night of Chuck’s family’s yearly holiday party, the one night where both you and Joe dressed to the nines and got to rub elbows with people Joe and Chuck lovingly referred to as ‘rich snobs with inherent mommy fetishes’. 

Joe never failed to leave you starstruck when he wore his nicest uniform, and even though you didn’t wear yours, Joe always managed to convince you to pin your Purple Heart and as many unit citations you could fit to the breast of whatever dress you picked out. 

 “Fuckin’ love watching those ignorant fuck’s faces when they realize what a badass my wife is,” he had growled in your ear as you had gotten ready that night. “Gets me harder than a goddamn rock, you got no idea…”

 The two of you had danced and drank and laughed over some of the most amazing food you’d ever tasted. It had been perfect.

More and more things were becoming perfect as time went on and the dark horrific shadows of war began to shrink away under the bright California sunshine. 

It was heartbreakingly nice to see Joe happy, truly happy. He deserved it- you all deserved it.

 A groan of frustration is the only warning you get before Joe crawls up your body and plops himself atop you, the suddenness of the action making you release a grunting giggle. Undeterred by the obvious fact that you’re trying to read, he kisses at your chest through your shirt.

 “Pay” kiss “attention” kiss “to meeee” kiss

 You take one hand from the book to scratch lightly at his scalp, smiling at the sound of him humming in annoyance.

 “What’s in that dumb book that’s got you glued to it, huh? What can big words give you that my big—OW.”

 You cut him off by clunking the book gently against the back of his head, giving him a soft smile when he looks up at you with a frown.

 “You’re so needy,” you chastise hollowly. “Never thought you’d get jealous over something as silly as poetry—”

 Joe rolls his eyes. “Poems are for kids and nerds, don’t get what it is about-” he sits up a bit more so he can see the cover of your book. “Whatever an ee cummings is that’s got you so gaga over it…”

 You raise an eyebrow at him. “Believe it or not, Joseph, I think you’d actually like this guy’s poems—”

 Joe snorts before bringing his head back down to rest on your chest. “Yeah, okay—”

 “Hey,” you challenge, scooting up on your pillows so you can sit up, the movement bringing his head to your ribcage. “I’m serious! If you were to like any sort of poetry, you’d need it to be as sexual and swear-y as you are…. Here, listen-”

 Before he can protest, you flip to the one you had in mind: 44.

 “the boys i mean are not refined 

they go with girls who buck and bite 

they do not give a fuck for luck 

they hump them thirteen times a night

 one hangs a hat upon her tit 

one carves a cross on her behind 

they do not give a shit for wit 

the boys i mean are not refined…”

 “Gimme that!”

 Suddenly, the book is ripped from your hand- and before you can protest you are shocked to see Joe turn the book so he can bury his nose in it. Careful not to be smug about it, you bite back a smile as you watch him mouth the words as he reads. 

 The fact that you’re able to hold in a laugh when his eyebrows shoot up in surprise should make you eligible for another Purple Heart.

 When Joe’s eyes flick up to meet yours, he’s looking at you as if you’ve just done some suspicious slide of hand- intrigued but still somewhat cautious.

 “Well?” you ask. “What did you think?”

 Joe flicks his gaze down to the book again, like he thinks it may have changed somehow when he wasn’t looking.

 “Are they….all like this?”

 You do smile now. “Well, I’m not sure- I haven’t read them all yet.”

An idea pops into your mind as he flips through the pages of the book.

 “If you give it back, I can see if I can find another—”

 Joe suddenly smirks, and when he lifts his face so you can see him, he’s looking like the cat that ate the canary.

“Read this one.”

 Now you’re the hesitant one, taking the book back from him as if it could suddenly turn into a snake.

The poem he’s picked  is one you haven’t read yet, but if it’s one that Joe picked out you can only imagine what the subject matter is.

 “Okay then,” you say slowly, clearing your throat as you cast him a brief look of suspicion before beginning.

 “may i feel said he

 (i'll squeal said she 

just once said he) 

it's fun said she”

 (may i touch said he

 how much said she

 a lot said he) 

why not said she….”

 As you read, Joe’s hands come up to hold your sides as he kisses slowly across your chest, your stomach. Every so often, his thumbs smooth upward to rub across your shirt-covered  nipples, and you can feel him smile as he kisses at you.

 Your shirt has bunched up, revealing your hips and the sensitive skin between them. Your cheeks feel hot, and your mouth suddenly becomes dry as his lips drag between your hip bones promisingly.

His hair tickles your skin when he begins mouthing lower, to the waistband of your underpants.

 “Y/N?”

 “Yeah?” you sigh, tongue wetting your bottom lips as you begin to breathe heavier.

 “Keep reading.”

 Oh. You hadn’t realized that you’d stopped.

Clearing your throat, you blink a few times before finding the place you left off.

 “Uh, (let's go said he 

not too far said she 

what's too far said he 

where you are said she)

 may i stay said he 

(which way said she 

like...like this said he 

I-if you kiss said she- shit, Joe….”

 Joe’s warm hands have worked your underwear down your hips and around the swell of your bottom, and the heat of his breath across the thinner skin that he’s exposed has you losing focus again.

Because he’s nothing if not a consummate tease, he doesn’t do anything more than kiss only a sliver of the newly revealed skin.

 “Y/N…” he reminds you, nipping lightly at you when you groan in frustration. “I think there’s still some to go—”

 Your heart is thrumming in your chest, and it takes you a few seconds to find where you left off this time.

 “M-may i move said he

 is it love said she) 

if you're…..uh, if you’re willing said he 

(but….. you're killing said she….”

 The words have started to dance across the page, a whine coming from somewhere deep in your chest at the first touch of his fingers to the slick lips of your sex.

You’ve officially lost your place, now. You just pick the stanza your eye catches first and hope for the best.

 “(tiptop said he 

don't stop said she

 oh no said he) 

go slow said she- fuuuuuck…..

 I-(cccome?said he….goddamn it Joe, please!”

 You throw the book off to the side, sweat beading on your brow from how deliberately cruel Joe is being as he continues massaging at you. When Joe sees that you’ve started to shake, he lunges up the bed to wrap a hand around the back of your neck and kisses you messily- your teeth clacking together briefly as he buries his fingers inside of you and immediately finds the place that never fails to ruin you.

 Clinging to the front of his shirt, you squeeze your thighs together as a delicious tremor rolls up your body from where you’ve trapped his hand. You’re so worked up you almost want to cry, the heat in your lower belly almost bowing your back.

 “Does that feel good, Baby?” he mumbles against your lips. “Who is it that’s making you feel this good, huh?”

 You make an incoherent noise, quickly wrapping am arm around his shoulders to try and bring his mouth back to yours, mewling in frustration when he refuses to do so.

 “Ungh! Joe, I’m begging you!”

 “Say it again,” he says darkly, and if you had the strength to open your eyes you’d see just the power-drunk way he is looking down at you. “Do it—”

 “Joe! Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe….”

 You chant his name like a prayer, your voice dying in your throat as he starts using his palm to stimulate your neglected clit.

 With a silent scream, you come apart, head lolling back as he continues to coax you through your orgasm, dimly aware of the praise being kissed across your chin as he refuses to relent the punishing paste he’s established.

 Your face is throbbing with the strength of your thudding heart when he finally starts to slow down, your body still bowing and writhing as he begins to coo down at you sweetly, capturing your lips with his as your shaking starts to subside and your sweat begins to cool.

 “Good girl,” he sighs into your mouth. “You’re such a good girl for me….”

 You don’t reply- can’t reply.  Joe’s reduced you into a boneless mess of a woman.

 When you do eventually open your eyes, Joe is smiling down at you with an obvious affection that threatens to get your heart racing once more. Not taking his eyes from yours, he gently slides his fingers from your still-fluttering sex and makes a show of licking them clean. 

 With a mischievous wink, he uses his other hand to smooth your hair from your forehead before carefully rolling so he’s laying beside you, his shoulder pressed against your as he chuckles.

 “Huh, whaddaya know,” he says after he releases one of his fingers from between his lips with a lewd pop. “Guess poetry isn't that bad.”

 Using all of your energy, you turn your head to give him the weakest glare you think you’ve ever given.

 “When….when I can breathe witho’ havin’ to think about it so hard, I’m gon’ make you cum til you pass out.”

 Joe gives you a smiling kiss.

“And I’ll let you….once we finish round two.”

 Well, looks like I’ll be going back to the bookstore sooner than I thought.

~ ~ ~ Taglist: @mrseasycompany​ @itswormtrain​ @mrsalwayswrite​ @happyveday​ @sunsetmando​ @teenmagazines​ @liebgotttme​

[leo-interactive-fiction]

Hi leo! probably already asked but which of the ROs (or any of the characters actually) did you created first and how much did they changed over time?

Haha, the Ros were the first characters I had planned. Of them I created dorm xeno first, but many of the characters have changed a lot from their initial conception.

E used to be a step sibling, where their mother and your father got married after the war, but I wanted to make E more appealing to romance and had already made a better plan regarding the parents that wouldn't fit the dynamic anyway haha. I've gotten flak for the change, saying it was better before or that I don't write the new version correctly but I'm ultimately sticking by it and think it's for the best.

R used to be a lot more flirtatious, especially in their first appearing scene. They also didn't have the label of an aristocratic black sheep hanging over their head, so they were actually quite popular with many characters that now treat them poorly or with suspicion. As I continued to write them their personality seemed to lean more towards wittiness and sarcasm, and as I rewrote their scenes they've lost much of the hard flirtatious forward edge they had in favor of that. Their introduction scene also changed to show them getting out of custody, whereas before they just appeared on the train, forcing their way into your booth.

L hasn't changed all that much, at least personality-wise. I always sorta knew what I wanted to do with them, but I did change some scenes about them. Their initial appearance scene in the library was the same conceptually with them getting bullied, but it was tweaked to also introduce the second-year no-nonsense student guard Juno. their penchant for rambling on and over-thinking/planning has also been accentuated, and their habit of reading books aloud was talked about but wasn't seen in the story until the rewrite.

V's personality has always stayed static, though initially I wrote them with a lot more brevity, their dialogue only consisting of simple sentences no longer than 5 words. They're still more brief than other characters, but I moved away from the obscure dialogue limitation as the writing went on. Their initial appearance showed them in the arena fighting a random large student and nearly executing them with their gun. So not much has really changed with them. Rex and Acer now appear in their initial scene though.

P's always been a swearing firebrand, though they were never shown actually harming any other students. I think they've become more violent in nature to match their personality. Their first appearance used to be when you see them in the first gym class, but they're now shown sooner protecting M at the back of the recreational dorm. In the old version, they had a diary you could read where they basically still called you a dumbass but it was a bit more positive. I could probably look back in the old files to see if I could find what it said exactly haha.

M I don't believe I changed at all. Even their scenes are pretty similar, though in the old version on their first date in the study room if you didn't first lean into their tendencies it would kick you off their romance route. That was changed for obvious reasons haha, but this was before I had implemented a romance route lock so you could pursue a different RO then. Now your choice is definitive, based on who you choose to pursue on the first date since they've got plenty of introduction before that point. In the initial game, the first date for some of them was the first time you ever really have a full scene with them, and S and F didn't even have one then. M's name has also changed. They used to be named Elliot/Ellie before they were Matthew/Mary.

Raven's pretty similar in personality though I've changed many of their scenes. The first time you met them, they used to just kinda appear in the dark after you were walking back to the dorms, and they gave you a card with a poem on it saying you need to keep it and they'll always find you. Their first date was also more bloody, as you find a room full of bodies. I didn't really tone down on their homicidal tendencies overall, but I decided to hold off on really showcasing it until later on, instead going for a tame kidnapping for the first date.

S and F were sorta bonus characters I made when I decided to put the ROs not in dorm Xeno into dorm Exul. Since there's 5 to a dorm, there were still 2 spots I had to fill, so my mind went to two different sides of the economic spectrum: A royal and poverty-stricken character, and so S and F were born. This is also why they didn't have a first date while the others did: they were introduced together into the story at a later time. This also meant they didn't have as many scenes as the other characters, so they had less development. When I did the rewrite though, I made sure to introduce them earlier so they could have a first date scene and be on the same page as the other characters.

S has changed a bit. To start, they didn't really used to be an oblivious idiot that couldn't understand your advances. I had initially wrote them to skirt around your advances because they had a bad relationship in the past that made them fearful of romantic things. They were changed because as I answered more asks about them on tumblr I had a lot of fun writing them as a more dense and oblivious character, so on the rewrite I leaned into those aspects of them.

F is pretty similar to how they were created, but they were only really showcased in the story as throwing insults and never really 'using' their authority so to speak. When I did the rewrite, I used their new introduction as a way to show that they had the power to carry out the threats they made and give their authority more weight.

Overall I'm ultimately pleased with how all the ROs have developed as I've written more and more, and I hope they get better as time goes on and I dive further into the story haha

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

a poem for small things

by Admin 1 & 2

The time has come, the first proper post for this segment we’ve settled on calling a poem for small things, a nod toward BWL and its Korean title. Like we said in our call for submission post, this is supposed to be something like a place full of positivity for vminnies (and perhaps the occasional namjinist) where you (and us) can share whatever we’d like in connection to vmin, both as vmin and as Jimin and Tae the individuals, and have something to raise our mood and also strengthen our vminnie confidence. We’ve gotten several wonderful submissions and quickly realized that for this first post the theme is mostly how I became a vminnie, even if three submissions talk more about vmin moments they enjoy instead.

I think it’s a really interesting theme, especially since everyone’s story is different, and everyone seems to find something else about vmin that captured their attention and hearts so sharing these memories and experiences is a great way to start off this segment. We’ve said it many times before, though I don’t think you can say it enough times, but this bond that Jimin and Tae share is truly special and so one of a kind, it’s wonderful to see how we all relate to and resonate with it in our own way and find something in it that makes us fall in love with their loves, regardless if we see it as platonic or romantic love. Love is love after all. 95z is love.

For the order of these submissions, we’ll simply go in the order in which we’ve received them. Most of them came from anons, which is more than okay. We’ve also opened the possibility of submitting posts for those who would like to submit wordier posts/asks, should we do another edition of this. It all depends on how much you’ll enjoy it and if you’ll come through with more submissions that could be gathered for future posts.

Anyway, enough talking from our side, let’s dive into these submissions below the cut, shall we? Like we said in the original post (and demonstrated in the preview post), we’ll add some of our commentary and observations along the way, too.

From anon: This is going to be long winded story but Vmin is like a Serendipity to me. I've heard of BTS mainly from my hubby when he complains that times sq is packed because of BTS (when they’re in town and doing their rounds of morning shows). I knew they were very popular but it was a great surprise that i discovered them after watching ILand during lockdown. Their songs were great and i started playing their classics like Fire, DNA Fake Love etc. Then they did an appearance in the show...

I love how you heard about BTS because of your husband and Time Square being packed, this is honestly the most original and unique version of how I’ve come across BTS I’ve read over the years. Amazing!

I was drawn to Taehyung's beauty during their appearance in Iland. And my first Vmin ? moment was when Tae commented about being handsome and attractive are 2 things and being attractive weighs more - along those lines... then JM made a comment that its unfair that he's both and Tae was like Im talking about you... I went like ok he thinks JM is attractive- theyre good friends.... then Jimin did the FakeLove choreo and the camera focused on Tae and he had this wide smile...The Iland Tae/Jimin clips made me do a double take but I dismissed it since it was just only a few seconds worth of screen time but still...

I-Land vmin was really something else in both episodes. 

Fun fact: I-Land was the first Korean survival show I’ve ever watched, mostly because it had something to do with BH and since it was streamed online with subs in real time. Unfortunately, my faves—Daniel and Taki—didn’t make it into ENHYPEN, though I’m happy that Taki will be in a future Japanese BH group.

But, going back to vmin, that moment with Jimin dancing FAKE LOVE and Tae looking at him with that boxy smile as though Jimin hung the stars in the sky? I melted, even if it was just one of those brief moments, yet still it’s so cute! And it was all over sns being shared by vminnies and non-vminnies alike. What a great time that was.

Then VMAs Dynamite perf happened- both Vmin looking good. I saw a lot of their promos especially the Jimmy Fallon interviews... and I noticed in hindsight how JF was so careful when referring to Jimin ... Since Tae was my first bias, I searched YT for Tae related content eventually saw in my YT feed Vmin moments. Theres a lot of Vmin content in YT or maybe the T*ek*ok ones didnt really register as extraordinary to me. But defo the Vmin moments were extraordinary to me,,,the BV4 sleeping together, kitchen role play & BV3 JM excited to see Tae and them holding hands and then Tae crying and then Tae's busking with Jimin cheering him on were all amazing to see. Up to this day this specific YT vid stood out to me first 

I actually went to check what video this is, and also looked at the comments where my favorite was this one: The staff member went straight to Jimin to tell him V was crying. That's all you need to know. They’re not wrong with that one, are they? That is pretty telling. BV3 vmin were a work of wonder, truly. Jimin watching Tae sing that Sam Smith song during the dinner in the sky looking all soft and endlessly fond?

Jimin encouraging Tae to busk and gently petting his hair was just such a pure moment and showed how much Jimin appreciates Tae and the talent he has, how in moments when Tae might brush aside wanting to do something, is a little hesitant and unsure, Jimin will stand up for him and give him strength/encouragement, which reminds me of Tae’s vlive in April 2020 and the fact that Jimin had told him that he wants to be his source of strength. Beautiful. And it shows that it wasn’t just pretty yet empty words, but something he truly meant. They both do.

Then i came across vid trans of Friends & cried first time hearing it especially when it got to the part "One day when the cheer dies down, stay hey.." It felt raw and honest to me. Then there's MOT:E concert and that part in Dynamite where they bumped their heads seemed bizaare to me - i was like were they fighting? because JM looked really fierce(or maybe emotional) then i saw the close up. i couldnt remember the exact moment I became a Vminie but it made quarantine easier...

This, I’ve noticed, seems to be a recurring theme among quarantine ARMY and vminnies, the fact that becoming ARMY and vminnies made it easier, and it fits with what we’ve been saying about BTS for years: they will find you when you’ll need them most. And in these trying and uncertain times, it’s certainly proven true once again.

Thank you of much for your submission and sharing your story with us, and I’m glad they could make quarantine a little easier for you.

From anon: I've been following BTS on and off since BST, but only really consider myself a true fan late 2019. I can't recall having a bias at first, but I was captivated by Jimin's everything when I binge-watched all their content. I must admit, my first OTP is T*e/k*ok, where I fell down the route of considering Jimin 'an interfering 3rd party' in their relationship, and it shamed me. Since then I've been cycling through Jimin ships, namely yo*n/m*n, j*n/m*n, m*ni/m*ni, and I even thought that j*/k*ok was real at some point. Strangely, Vmin never struck me as something extraordinary. I don't want to blame anyone, but Vmin caught my eye after I watched official BTS content without filter (presumed bias/judgement) all in their glory. I realized that while other ships may go up-and-down as in one day there's a frenzy and another day quiet af, Vmin has been and is still going constant. That's what makes me love Vmin, and for the first time in my fandom life, I have no qualms about whether they are real or not. Their bond, whatever it is, is already precious and something to be cherished forever. Thank you for providing us vminies a special corner to speak up about our experience 💜

You’re very welcome! I hope you’ll like how this turned out as well. Thank you for sharing your story with us and personally I find it fascinating how, despite Jimin being the one who captivated you most at first, you still fell into the “he’s an interference for my ship” trap that’s quite popular with that particular ship. I’m glad though that that never ruined your love for Jimin. It’s also really interesting for me how you went through different Jimin ships yet it took you the longest time to notice vmin. I feel like, because vmin and vminnies are more “low key” than the other bigger and louder ships, as well as Tae and Jimin simply being quieter in their interactions (not always but you get the point) as compared to, for example, Jimin’s interactions with Hobi, Jungkook, or even Namjoon, it takes people a while to really notice them.

This is my favorite part of what you wrote, and I think it’s a great way to describe vmin in general and what makes them different from other ships in the grand scheme of things: I realized that while other ships may go up-and-down as in one day there's a frenzy and another day quiet af, Vmin has been and is still going constant.

From vminot7: So i fell into BTS hole after watching blood sweat and tears mv casually on youtube. Jimin immediately stole my attention with his unique voice, graceful moves and handsome features even though i didn’t know their names at that time. I watched more MVs and jimin continued to hold my attention but i was also extremely drawn to taehyung's voice and facial expressions. So i started looking for more content such as RUN BTS and other compilations and realized my love for all 7 of them. I also noticed how jimin always had a soft spot for taehyung and was curious about their dynamics. I started looking at more of vmin content and i was really surprised to see how in the early days they were nowhere near as soft with each other as they are now. I think they have a unique bond and i have never come across anything quite similar. Now vmin are both my biases and my bias wrecker is hoseok.

I admire jimin for being a hardworking, passionate perfectionist but also a caring soul who is always ready to offer love and comfort to people in need. I love taehyung for how he looks at the world in his unique ways and how he has a childlike awe for things and how he is so passionate over the things he loves. The thing i love about vmin together is how they are so different yet work so hard on their relationship when it would be easier to just not try that hard.

Ah, another mention of the queen that is Blood, Sweat and Tears. The MV truly is such a masterpiece so I’m not surprised that it caught your attention, and especially Jimin since he was…something else in that MV, or like Tae said, his eyes were temptation (this boy, I swear). Since you mentioned how in the first years they were nowhere near as soft with each other as they are now, I think watching their dynamic and relationship change and evolve over time showcases the one thing I think a lot of people (as well as movies and TV shows) forget or gloss over, despite it being so incredibly important: in order to make a relationship of any kind work, especially in order for it to grow as deep and strong as the one between all members and especially vmin, you need to put in the emotional work to make that happen. You have to make an effort, have to learn to understand the other person and teach them to understand you as well, learn to appreciate and love their little quirks and how to accept others. And it’s so clear that that’s what vmin did, continue to do, and it more than paid off in the long run. I’m glad you highlighted that in general but also as something you love about them.

While the overall bond between the members is a class of its own, I think especially what vmin have achieved is a whole masterclass in relationships and fostering strong ones, in and of itself. There is a lot I think we can learn from them and I’m so happy that people recognize how special they are.

Thank you so much for your submission!

From anon: There’s this small moments in Dear Class of 2020 that i just adore! I’ve watched it at least 20 times this past month

It starts with “Spring Day”- tae and jimin laugh and look at each other and it’s just so sweet!

Also, maybe it’s my delusional mind but after tae’s and jin’s small and adorable moment- it seemed that jimin did the same with junkook right after maybe out of i duuno if jealousy but like “pay attention to me too” kinda way- dont know really and maybe it’s me being extra🤷🏻‍♀️

I agree partially, in that Jimin watched Tae’s and Seokjin’s adorable moment, obviously must’ve thought of it as cute just like we did, and thought he could do the same with JK. I don’t think it had anything to do with jealousy, especially if we work off of the idea that vmin are a thing, but also because it’s a performance and these things primarily serve the purpose of being cute and entertaining use, in other words, it’s fanservice (which isn’t the evil word some portray it as). Also, within that same performance, Tae and Jimin actually sang some of the lyrics toward each other, therefore they, too, had a cute moment they shared with big smiles and everything, just like you mentioned.

But we’ve gotten to see much more of Tae’s friendship with Seokjin in 2020, and especially the second half, so it was really sweet to see them interact during that song. Their friendship and dynamic is really a beautiful one, just like JKs bond with Seokjin, which I feel we’ve also gotten to see more of in recent months. Part of me (and that part can very well be wrong) feels that perhaps once the members caught on to Seokjin feeling the way he said he did/does, they decided to give him an extra dose of love and affection, off camera but also on where we can see it. That isn’t to say that they didn’t show him any of that before, but maybe they increased the intensity a little, a reminder that Seokjin truly is loved, that he deserves all of this, that it’s just his imposter syndrome (or at least what sounds like it) lying to him.

I’m still so touched and moved by the fact that he trusted us enough to share his feelings with us, to gift us Abyss and how it came to be, and that Bang PD was on his side and coaxed him into pouring his feelings into music, even if it would be “bad”, that the fear of it potentially being “bad” shouldn’t hold him back (and Namjoon helping in even if just a tiny bit with the lyrics). It was one of those times where I feel like we were all reminded that regardless of our opinions of BH and their doings, the members are surrounded by kind people who have their best interest in mind. After all what’s good for Bangtan is also good for the company, a win-win for everyone.

…wow, okay, I kind of went off on a tangent, I’m sorry…

Either way , then we have “Mikrokosmos” where we have a sweet moment at their part and towards the end where they switch mic and hear each other

I love this performance overall and especially “spring day”- jin’s and j-hope’s lovely voices and of course tae’s!! This song fits them so well and all the members of course

Well this is my rent , i love your blog and always wait for another post! Also i love the new idea and look forward to it!

Thank you so much for your submission and for bringing up their Dear Class 2020 performance. It was a truly magical one, and after reading this the first time, I did go and watch it again. To this day I’d still very much like to know how and when and why the mic switch between vmin happened, and I kind of hope that we might get a Bangtan B*mb or EPISODE about this eventually and it might shine some light on that question. Overall it was one of my favorite performances on 2020.

From Sky: While I enjoy cute, physical moments with VMIN, I really do value how emotionally attached they are to each other. For example (I don’t know if it fits as vmin moment but), I love how Jimin asked V to take the Promise cover photo, and how he ended up putting V’s name for credits on the cover. (Special Thanks to V, Best Photographer) This really shows a lot. Coz he can easily choose any Bighit photographer to take it. He could have chosen JK because we know how he takes good pics and vids too (and also apparently alot of people say that vmin had a falling out and that Jimin and JK were much more closer, lol). Or he could’ve asked Suga too bec he’s into cameras too. But he didn’t. He chose V, and chose to shout it out to the world how thankful he is for V’s help. RM co-wrote Promise, and maybe had offered more help in this project, but he didn’t put it in the cover. I’m not saying Jimin is ungrateful for not crediting RM in the cover. The difference is that he and RM had a vlive regarding the making of this song, a lot of people already know RM’s participation, he was officially credited as co-writer and Jimin really showed how thankful he is to RM. But no one knows of V’s participation (except for a snippet in that Run ep), so Jimin felt the need to tell it to everyone. I’m sure it’s not only the photos, I think he wanted to acknowledge how V helped him through the process, whether directly or indirectly. Also, remember this is Jimin’s first non-album solo single. By putting V’s name in it, he is sharing this very special song with his soulmate. How endearing it is! V also included Jimin in his first full English song. He used the two bears given by Jimin as Winter Bear’s cover photo and he included the photo Jimin took (sleeping V in the plane) in the MV. Like, seriously, they are trying to consciously imprint each other in their life’s milestones, openly or subtly. I’m crying. 😭

This was lovely, and yes, Jimin could’ve asked whoever to take those pictures, could’ve chosen any other ones, and yet he wanted Tae to be the one to take them, wanted those specific ones as covers. It’s very sweet and creates this subtle connection between Jimin, the song, and Tae. Sure, it isn’t the first time a picture Tae took is the cover for a SoundCloud song (the picture of JK on the 2U cover was also taken by Tae if I remember correctly), but it’s the fact that Promise is Jimin’s first non-BTS song, his first solo release, that makes it that much more special. Even more so when you think about how meaningful that song is to Jimin, and by having Tae as cover picture photographer, he’s in a way forever attached memory wise to that song as well, right?

The same also goes with Winter Bear and the two ceramic bears. Remember how excited Tae looked when I kinda spoiled that gift being a thing happening in an upcoming RUN episode during Jimin’s vlive during the summer 2019? Adorable. It’s also curious how though the title is singular—winter bear not winter bears—there’s two ceramic bears. One for Tae, one for Jimin? Maybe, or maybe I’m reading too much into it. Either way, it’s really cute, and it was a very thoughtful gift, even more when we think about just how much Jimin loves that song.

From anon: Love this idea it's super cute!! 1st thing that came to my mind is a rather simple moment, jimin bopping taehyung's nose and making a lil game out of it

Taehyung asking for more and that dazed smile 🥺 he had the same expression in that concert when jimin placed his face just above him, tae's smile afterward... it was so pure u could almost read "love" in his eyes lol

What a lovely note to end this post at, thank you for that. I don’t know what got into them during that photoshoot for Season’s Greetings 2020 but this was so disarmingly adorable. I remember when that moment appeared all over every sns and everyone just melted, myself included. Their smiles, the cute clothes, Tae’s head on Jimin’s chest, the softness and innocence of it, just all of it. It truly was so pure and like this sweet visualization of ‘love’.

And with that, we’ve reached the end. Did you like this? I had a great time reading your submissions and adding my little comments to them. If you’d like for us to continue this, same rules as last time, send in a submission marked with “VMC” and once we’ll have enough of them gathered, we’ll do this again, if you’re interested in more, that is. Send in whatever positive vmin you have, a thought, a moment, a memory, whatever you’d like.

Thank you once again to everyone who participated! :)

[carriagelamp]

I read more books this month than I anticipated. I should probably wait before doing a February book round up, but I already feel like I’m struggling to decide which ones to cut from my list so I’m doing it this weekend instead of next. If I read much next week I’ll bump ‘em up into March’s round up

Asterix and the Missing Scroll / Chieftain’s Daughter

I got the last two “new” Asterix books out of the library so I could officially say I had read them all. Over all my opinion is… they’re fine! None of these would ever become one of my favourites, but they’re all fine stories. The art is good, it is completely in-line with the original, and the stories are… fine. I liked The Missing Scroll quite a bit more than The Chieftain’s Daughter but I never find a ~hurr hurr teenagers~ plotline that interesting, whereas I do enjoy seeing Romans get chased down by unicorns so that’s probably not surprising. There’s some spark I can’t put my finger on that the new Asterix books just seem to be missing though… a bit of humour or cleverness or something. Still, they’re fine reads if you’ve been hungry for more Asterix and I’m glad I read them. (Though the library gave me the American translation of The Chieftain’s Daughter, something I didn’t realize until I started reading and realized that this is wrong??? I’ve been reading these books since I could read and I know this is wrong??? What the hell is happening??? The I realized the publisher was different and I simmered in fury the whole time I read it — WHY ARE YOU CHANGING NAMES AND WORD CHOICES IN A WELL ESTABLISHED SERIES THAT ALREADY HAS AN ENGLISH TRANSLATION YOU ANIMALS WHY ARE YOU DUMBING DOWN THE LANGUAGE AAAUGH

The Bride Was A Boy

This one was cute! The Bride Was A Boy is an autobiographical manga written by a transwoman recounting her experience with transitioning, meeting her boyfriend, and eventually getting married. It’s mostly done in a 4-panel style and is interspersed with lots of information about the LGBT community, particularly in Japan. A lot of it was stuff I was already familiar with, but I still found it adorable and a very worthwhile read. it would be a fantastic book for young queer people who are looking for more of an introduction into international queer space

Cul de Sac: Children At Play

Cul de Sac is just a weird, fun newspaper comic series about the children who live in a small neighbourhood. It fully taps into the children-as-semi-feral-chaos-agents, and there’s something hilariously nostalgic about the whole thing. Lots of times when stories try to portray children there’s always something… wrong about it, something that doesn’t mesh with true childhood, but in this comic I can see glimpses of my grimy, dirty-covered self as a preschooler running around the pages. I would definitely recommend trying them!

The Cremation of Sam McGee

I reread The Cremation of Sam McGee and The Shooting of Dan McGrew and man, they don’t stop being buckwild. These are two really famous Canadian poems that were then illustrated by equally famous Canadian artist Ted Harrison. Harrison’s style is gorgeous and distinct and given what strangely grisly stories these poems are they fit the mood perfectly. Everything feels just a little tilted and wrong and unsettling. If you enjoy an occasional poem (especially ones that are super fun to read out loud) and haven’t read these before, I would recommend them! Or do what my teachers did, and read Sam Gee to a young child in your life and watch them be baffled and concerned and horrified.

There are strange things done / in the midnight sun / by the men who moil for gold...

The Gryphon’s Lair

The second book of the Royal Guide to Monster Slaying series written by Kelley Armstrong; I’ve been eagerly awaiting this book! It’s a very cool fantasy series because it really leans into environmental stewardship and the importance of studying animals and conservation so you can find ways to live alongside a healthy ecosystem. In this book Rowan is officially accepted as the Royal Monster Hunter, which means a whole new set of trials and burdens. She has to contend with a baby gryphon that is becoming increasingly large and dangerous, plotting family members, doubt about her abilities, a potential curse, and a daunting quest deep into the mountains in order to set things right. If you’re looking for some very gentle high fantasy, this series delivers.

Hogan’s Heroes comics

What to say here. Anyone following this blog has suffered the knowledge that I’ve been rewatching Hogan’s Heroes lately. When I found out that there was a short-lived, shitty comic series in the 60s? Of course I had to hunt them down. And so I’ve read them! And they sure were a shitty comic series from the 60s! They were, shall we say, of wildly varying quality. Some were actually really funny (like #5, it easily had the best art and best jokes imho), others were a slog, and most were fine and amusing enough to read the whole way through but not much more.

If you don’t know what Hogan’s Heroes is about: it was a 1960s sitcom that took place in a WWII POW camp, in which the Allied prisoners trapped there had a massive, complex sabotage/spy ring right underneath the camp. The whole show is about constantly outwitting the bumbling Germans while keeping up the pretense that they’re all just normal prisoners. The show is hilariously funny and I would recommend that, even if I can’t say the same for the comics unless you’re like me and are just really thirsty for more content...

Magic Misfits: The Fourth Suit (Ripley)

The final book of Neil Patrick Harris’ middle grade series, The Magic Misfits. In this fourth book, the group is fragmented and forced to meet in secret to avoid notice from the mysterious and powerful Kalagan whose cruel machinations have already turned the quiet little town on its ears, putting people’s lives in peril and destroy Leila’s fathers’ magic shop. The Misfits are going to need all their skills to finally unmask this sinister magician and break the mesmerism he seems to have placed over the entire town before it’s too late to save no only the town, but their friendship and trust.

Super charming series, and the illustrations are gorgeous.

Marsupilami

HOUBA! I watched a very bad TV adaptation of this as a kid that still managed to find a place in my heart, and so I decided to finally try reading some of the original comic! On one hand: it was exactly what I had hoped! The art is cute, the marsupilami is so dynamic and fun to see on the page (and has a way better characterization than he does in the show), and it’s really funny! Unfortunately! It is also pretty racist! Yikes! That seems to be a reoccuring downfall for some of these older Belgian comics... I also tried reading the first book of Les Tuniques Bleues and aye ye ye… I couldn’t actually get through that one. That being said, these were older volumes and frankly, North American media was also real fucking racist at that point so I’m not gonna write them off either. I really liked most of this book, and will probably try to get my hands on one of the more recent volumes of both Marsupilami and Les Tuniques Bleues to see if they get better with time. (If you’ve read either of those series and have volume recommendations hmu)

The Pagemaster

I’m a sucker for novelizations, I have no excuse beyond that. I recently rewatched The Pagemaster and decided to read the chapter book. And it was a solid little adaptation! It’s about Richard Tyler, a young boy with a head for statistics which unfortunately means he lives in constant fear of (in his opinion, statistically likely) injury or death. However that fear is put to the test when he gets caught in a horrible thunderstorm and has to shelter in a nearby library with halls and shelves that stretch beyond the imagination and with untold perils hidden among the pages of the books. Richard, with only his library card and three novels that hope to be checked out, has to venture through the different genres and horrors housed int he library if he ever wants to find the exit and get home to safety.

Pumpkinheads

A very charming little graphic novel. Cute art, and really loveable characters. Josiah and Deja work every year at a local pumpkin patch, and are best friends during those weeks. However this is their last year working there before going off to university and as the last day at the patch comes to a close they realize that they both still have regrets. Deja sets off on a mission to avoid work, eat all the interesting snacks around the patch, and get Josiah to find the girl he’s been crushing on every year and has never worked up the nerve to talk to.

After being deprived of human contact for almost a year, this book really hits you right in the heart.

The Screwfly Solution

A deeply upsetting scifi/horror short story! I read it on the recommendation of a friend and, yes, can confirm that this fucked me up a bit. I honestly don’t even know what to say about this that wouldn’t spoil it, but frankly with everything being as it is, this hit a little bit too close to reality. (That being said, it was very well written, like this is a very good story on a literary level and it does exactly what it sets out to accomplish.) If you feel like reading twenty pages and being really disturbed, give it a go! Otherwise go and read any number of the much happier books on this list!

The Whipping Boy

This was a book I remember reading as a lit circle book back in elementary school and really loving. After telling myself I’d reread it for years, I finally sat down with it again. If you somehow got through school without reading this one, it’s about a brat of a prince and his whipping boy — since it would be unspeakable to strike a prince, when the prince misbehaves it is Jemmy who gets whipped. Unsurprisingly, there is no love lost between the two of them, because the prince is always intentionally causing problems that Jemmy has to suffer for. Things begin to change though when the prince decides to run away and drags Jemmy along with him. On the run, being chased by highwaymen, and desperately trying to hide their identities, these boys go on a fast-paced adventure beyond the castle walls. It wasn’t as special as I remembered it being as a kid, but it’s a fine little chapter book.

[popculturebuffet]

Carl Barks: Back to the Klondike Review: Blinkus of the Thinkus

Welcome one and all! If your a longtime reader of this blog, you know I love a good birthday celebration, having started with my first year reviewing animation last year with Donald’s and deciding to do Mickey and Scrooge’s later that year. But since I misseda  LOT of disney birthdays, and found several Non-disney birthdays and anniversaries I just gotta celebrate, this year i’m making it up and style and have a whole calender set up to tack these big milestones to the wall. So over the year expect tributes to the greats of disney, looney tunes, and mgm both behind and in front of the scenes, as well as to various shows I like. It’s gonna be a good time. 

So to start us off, it’s only fitting my first duck birthday since Scrooge, is for the love of his life and the stealer of his wallet, Glittering Goldie O Gilt! And I felt the best way to celebrate this storied day was to go back to her very FIRST apperance, one of earliest Scrooge headlined comics and a forever fan faviorite, Back to the Klondike!

But before we get into that, a little history on our gal in gold. Goldie was created for this story by comics god, the late great Carl Barks. Barks ended up just using her once, which is a shame but understandable as he probably only thought of her for that one adventure. While some characters like Gyro ended up being used again and again he probably just didn’t have any more stories in mind for her and figured Scrooge would return to her one day or he wouldn’t, but it wasn’t up to him.  Fans however loved the character, her feisty dynamic with scrooge, and the fact she brought out his good side, so naturally other writers would bring her back. In paticular Barks Superfan Don Rosa cemented her as the love of his life and wrote several more stories with her, fleshing out their backstory and saying that at least in his personal canon, Scrooge retired to spend his final years with her. And while his fanboy was clearly showing, and that can end nasitly just ask Dan “Hates Wally West because he’s not barry allen” DiDio, glad he’s gone.. Rosa’s work with goldie is an example of what happens when it’s done right. Less DiDio or Bendis and more Al Ewing. Using the continuity and what’s there to build on a character who deserved better.. to me that’s one of the BEST things you can do in comics and Rosa’s work is proof of that, ironing out the.. questionable elements we’ll get to and leaving the gold in.  So Rosa��s work combined with Ducktales not only adapting this story but bringing Goldie back a few times after that has elevated the character to a storied and permenat part of the duck canon, with her excellent heavily revamped Reboot counterpart currently carrying the torch with the help of the wonderful Allison Janey, perfect casting there. So with a legacy of gold behind her, let’s take a look at where it’s started and see if it still glitters after all these years under the cut. 

We begin our story at the Money Bin. Scrooge has been counting his money.. but has already forgotten, and forgot where he put the slip he wrote the number on and even forgets who Donald is when he shows up until Donald, while having some fun with him as Scrooge is trying to phone him while he’s right there. As for how he got into the most secure place in the bin.. the story actually answers that both worringly and hilariously: Scrooge left the door unlocked.  Naturally he’s not happy about this and Donald states the simple solution: Go see a doctor something’s CLEARLY very wrong, and the fact this could possibly be something like Demntia is VERY bad for someone who runs a zillion dollar company. Scrooge of course scoffs at “wasting his precious money” But Donald not only points out the obvious, that two bucks now saves him from having someone rob EVERYTHING, but Scrooge’s attempt to tie a string around his finger.. instead triggers a trap. And this entire sequence is decent with some good gags.. it’s just hampered a bit by making light of something that’s kinda bad. Not old people forgetting things.. but an old person with a disease as we find out forgetting things. Not helping is I laughed at first at the gags.. till I remembered a kind, old, friend of the family who had it and forgot me entirely by the end. So yeah, not the worst gags and the boxing glove and donald bits aren’t terrible, but it hurts now my brain’s made that connection. 

Our heroes head to the doctor’s office where Scrooge is diagnosed with... 

That.. might be the best name for a fictional illness i’ve ever heard in my life.. just inching out “Brain Cloud” and “Whale Cancer”. Still not the most SENSITIVE gag.. but it was the 50′s and mental issues weren’t given a lot of respect. IT’s why the above sequence and this whole part of the plot dosen’t scuttle things: It’s not the most repsectful.. but it wasn’t a time where these things were givne proper respect, treatment or knowledge, so barks wasn’t being an insentive douche on purpose, he just didn’t know. It dosen’t make it 100% okay btu it dosen’t wreck the story like say his blatant racist caractures in Voodoo Hoodoo. Seriously that’s.. not okay, and given he’s the kind of guy who researched locations he used, unlike with mental illness i expect BETTER of him than most men at the time. Still respect the guy, but it dosen’t mean i’ll overlook the fact he made some pretty bad mistakes. Same way while I love and miss Stan Lee I won’t ignore his blatant sexisim or racisim towards Chinese and Vitamise people. You CAN like a creator even if their work has some questionable and unjustifable elements, times do change and people do mamke mistakes when their young. It just depends on exactly WHAT they did or wrote that makes that distinctoin.  So on that bombshell, Scrooge is given medication after a needle gag. He needs to take his pills every 12 hours. It’s then he starts to remember something, mubling abotu skagway, goldie and dawson and telling Donald to get the boys, their going to Alaska! Once they get on the boat Scrooge explains: he remembered thanks to the medcince he left a stash of gold nuggets there from his prospecting days.. and part of why this story ended up being one of the single most important to Scrooge’s character. While it establishes some character traits, something I dind’t realize till wikipedia pointed it out, it also establishes Scrooge’s days as a prospector. While other things made him what he was and got him to that point as Don Rosa would later flesh out, it was his days in the yukon that, for better or worse defined who he is now and shaped him into the man he is today: Tough, fair, badass as all hell, mean as the devil and richer than god.  This time would be used a lot to set up stories, which made sense as it was the cleast and most agreed upon part of his past by all writers, and him at his abosltuely peak physically and mentally and the gold rush motif of the time perfectly fits someone defined by being rich. It’s also honestly nice that the Yukon is used, as Canada sometimes gets lost in the shuffle wise and hell until reading life and times I gneuinely had no idea what the Yukon was or where Calvin was headed when he and hobbes ran away from home. 

Scrooge also first mentions Goldie and while clearly remembering her fondly.. goes into a rant about her howing him a thousand dollars which has compounded to a billion the second the boys catch on he was sweet on her with Donald assuming he’s just not a good person. But this is really just setting up another vital part of his character and the other thing: his heart. Before he’d been show as a pretty heartless, greedy asshole. While the previous story, Only a Poor Old Man, had softened him up a bit, this is the first to show that beneath the pile of greed and mean lurks a decent human being. Just don’t tell anyone or he’ll throw his money at you.. then tell you to bring it back to him. It’s what makes the character who he is: he’s cruel, onrey and selfish.. but he CAN care when the chips are down and can do the right thing.. as we’ll see later. 

God I love the little poems Bill Watterson would put in the books. I didn’t as much as a kid, but god I do now. Anyways before our heroes can get going Yukon Ho, they stop in Skagway for suplies before heading out, Scrooge softing at taking a plane as “Soft” and him and the nephews hiking a week.. before running into the same flying service again, and finding out Scrooge OWNS it and forgot, because being scrooge he forgot to take his meds. Something I can relate to and i’m not proud of as staying on them is important to my well being. Seriously always take your meds. Unless their not working for you then talk with your doctor to get new ones. 

So we arrive in Dawson, as our heroes will have to walk rest of the day Scrooge takes the boys to the Black Jack Ballroom, which used to be a hot spot and was where he met Goldie for the first time. After another covering for his reminscing with greedy bollocks, he tells the boys the story.. one that was cut from the original printing despite introducing goldie and something the editors dind’t bother to tell carl till they berated him over trying to sneak a blackjack saloon and a kidnapping in there... and to them, or their long dead skeletons probably, I say. 

Yeah not wanting that in a kids story, while bollocks, tha’ts their perogative.. not having him send in replacement pages to keep story flow.. is dickish and underestimates kids intellegence as Don Rosa, while loving the story felt something was off till he saw the missing pages years later thanks to a fellow fan. So yeah kids, and adults, into the work noticed. Nice job. Again I can’t BLAME them for not wanting Scrooge to be a kidnapper as we’ll see and Don Rosa had to massage the hell out of that, but I can blame them for not caring enough to fix the obvious hole int he story. Though it’s now complete and unabriged and has been since the 80′s so there's that. 

So in a nutshell Scrooge came to town for a coffee, and while the bartender ignored him he didn’t once he plunked down his goose egg nugget, what made his fortune and one of Scrooge’s most treasured possessions. It’s here we meet Goldie. 

Yup.. just in case you thought her being a thief and greedy as hell was a new thing, and I kinda forgot how much, she dirves for the nugget, has Coffee with scrooge.. and drugs it, but makes the mistake of NOT clearing town, so Scrooge fights his way through the ballroom to her, gets the nugget back, forces her to sign the money for the iou he spent.. and then uh.. kindaps her to force her to work on his claim for 50 cents to try and teach her how to work honestly. 

Yeahhhh as I said Don Rosa tried his best to fix this , and did so in his final story, which we’ll get to some day, revealing Goldie had a shot gun on her the whole time and was going along entirely to find out where Scrooge’s claim was. That.. actually makes more sense with the character and is far less horrifying and Scrooge finds this out fairly quick, so them forming an attraction out of this becomes 100% more plausable. So yeah good on Don Rosa for fixing the implications here. I may give out on him from time to time.. but he is a genuinely talented writer and did what a good comic book writer in an established continuity should do: update elements so they aren’t so... eugguuhhh after they become horrifingly outdated. And look YES she did do horrible shit to him.. but you still can’t kidnap someone over that. just put her in jail. What was any of that. 

Anyways Scrooge HAS been taking his medicine, and proves it by showing the boys his pills and the next day they head to Scrooge’s old claim.. only someone’s living there and using it, and his old cabin.. and a shot gun. Yeah so they aren’t getting through in the day what about the night.. well they get attacked by Blackjack, who turns out to be owned by the claim jumper.. and is also you know a bear> And Donald left his back in new quackmore so their outmatched. 

So outgunned and outplanned, if not outnumbered or outmanned, our heroes make a camp fire and whiel Donald again suggests the obvious, call the police.. Scrooge can’t. He didn’t pay taxes on the claim so he’s technically jumping his own claim and techincally she has a right to it. So techncially.. Scrooge is the bad guy here as he left the money here, didn’t pay his taxes and didn’t ever come back for it. Still beats trying to terrify your nephews or deny orphans a train because your an asshole buffet. 

So the next morning Scrooge dosen’t want to rush her because “We Daren’t Get Rough with an old woman”. Two things.. 1... think before you put images in my head scrooge.. brrrrrrrrr. I mean Goldie. is not in the best shape in thie story as you’ll see and neither are you. In the reboot sure you two kept up a lot better but here.

And it’s not even an old people thing. Ann Margret was still fine so fine by the time of Grumpy Old Men, not to get creepy jut to prove i’m not being ageist. For a still alive example Keith David is also still a smokeshow at the tender age of 64. So yeah, not an age thing just not these paticular old people. 

But they need a plan so the boy suggest luring the bear into a trap with honey. Donald and Scrooge build the cage while the boys.. find the jar of honey. 

Regardless since the boys won’t do it for what Scrooge pays and neither will donald Scrooge goes to lure the bear with the honey. Once that’s done, and Scrooge is being covered with honey and licked by a bear...

So while he washes that off, the boys come up with another plan: they run around back while Donald makes noise to draw Goldie’s fire, with that being Dewey’s plan to meet her since he’s figured this out already. But Goldie has a backup plan and when she figures out they disabled Blackjack unleashes mosquitos... ugh. Having been stung like hornets about 50 times in animal crossing I feel you boys. So while Scrooge and Donald run off naked... troy if you will. 

Thank you Troy, the boys confront Goldie who reveals her identity... and that she’s broke, her dance hall having failed with the rush and this claim being all she has.. and her suspecting scrooge woudl gladly take it. The boys vow not to tell scrooge.. but he’s on his way so they kinda have to and he primps to go visit and Donald starts to see through his BS about collecting the debt. Sure enough despite being taken aback by her putting on her old dress , he takes her for all she has and is.. genuinely suprised as she thought she’d have more and she’d actually changed since the old days, donating her profits to orphans from mining disasters. Scrooge.. is clearly rattled by this. Whiel it turns out to my shock he was clealry after the money, though givne who we’re dealing with I shoudln’t of been really, he still cares and still realizes he’s being kind of a dick. So he challengers her to a gold digging race, and if she wins the claim is hers and any gold she finds.. and naturally, while he seemingly puts her soemwhere where there isn’t she finds the claim and Scrooge bemoans not taking his pill.. but while the boys boo him for it, Goldie who fondly waves them off and Donald know better: Donald points out he counted the pills this morning.. and recently. SCrooge DID take one today... he’s just has his cane shoved firmly up his ass with pride so he coudln’t ADMIT he was wrong and instead simply staged that whole thing with the full knowledge Goldie would win. It, again, sets up one of his defniing traits; how he keeps people at arms length. How he’s just so proud and full of himself he can’t bear to admit anything resembling weakness.. but WILl find a way to do the right thing without that or forgoe it as a last resort. He may project being a stingy cretionus old man.. because he is.. but he’s got a heart as big as that nugget.. it’s just locked tight in it’s own bin... his body is complicated and weird that way Final Thoughts:

This story is a classic with a decent setup, great backstory for scrooge, and a great guest character and unquestionable impact on the character. However.. it does have it’s problem; As Don Rosa, who as i’ll remind you is both a huge barks fanboy and huge scoldie shipper, himself pointed out he wrote his final story, and had planned to for years ENTIRELY because this one never quite explains how Scrooge and Goldie went from old enmies to lovers.It did lead to one of his best stories and one of the first I read post life and times so, props to that. And of course as I pointed out some things have just.. not aged well, especially the kidnapping so their relationship kinda comes off like stockholm syndrom as a result of both of these. 

That being said.. warts and all.. it’s still a really damn good story and a good one to try if your intrested in barks work or where Goldie came from: it has adventure, some really good jokes and if you can get past the dated bits the plot is solid. And while it goes without saying i’ll say it anyway Barks art is goregous as always ESPECIALLY in the flashback sequence. Overall not the best AGED Scrooge story, though not the worst either see Voodoo Hoodoo, good god, but defintely a classic for a reason.  If you liked this review, follow me for more, and for more duck content as I still have more of the three cablleros to work through, another chapter of life and times coming up this week befor ewe break again for feburary, and some other fun stuff. Until the next rainbow, it’s been a pleasure. 

[im-gettingby]

30 Days of Carry On

posted (and written by?) @captain-aralias

(I’m doing most of these at once because I said so. it’s long so under the cut)

1. Favourite major character

I literally thought — Simon no Baz no Penny no, Agatha!

I guess I will pick Simon, since I relate to him the most — or at least, my connection to him led me into the fandom.

2. Favourite minor character

I think we all know this one 🐑🐑🐑

I have written many a treatise on Lamb Rights. I’ll spare everyone now

3. Character you relate to the most

Oops— I already answered this, kinda. I relate to them in different ways: I relate a lot to WS Simon because he has abandonment issues and “kid who was told he was extraordinary and then grew up to be ordinary” issues. We also both have a “fix all the things for everyone” complex, too.

Baz — It took me a while to get into Baz’s head, but I would say, I relate to him because of his intense emotional world and tendency to see the world through an intensely romantic/tragic lens. But also he’s a Pisces. and I’d never do that like a Pisces does. (Sorry, not sorry.)

4. Which character would you like to go to lunch with?

SHEPARD obviously. I don’t feel the need to elaborate.

5. Favourite non-Snowbaz ship

Ooh! Probably Lamb/Baz or Simon/Shep or just...literally anything. Like, I will read anything as long as it’s well written. The weirder the better. (Within...legal and moral limits.) in my other fandoms I’ve been a big multishipper and there’s not a lot of options for that in CO - which is fine - but wholeheartedly support rarepairs :D

6. Favourite non-romantic OTP

So, obviously Simon/Penny and Baz/Penny are great ones, but I think the nearest & dearest to my heart is Simon/Agatha. The kind of siblings/unwillingly dating/weird exes dynamic and the way they both shaped each other’s lives is just so interesting. And while Simon & Penny are closer, Agatha and Simon represent their aspirational selves to one another. And the way that they were both tied to one another along with their gender roles/places in society and both broke away at the same time is just...mwah

7. Favourite Baz outfit

I honestly dress kinda like Baz. Anything involving a printed silk shirt or a floral brocade suit, so like, all of them? I love WS Baz, his fashion sense is so thoughtful yet fun. He’s so expressive with it — in the sense of both being guarded, being sexy, and playing with masculinity/femininity.

8. How do you feel about Wayward Son?

In case it wasn’t obvious, I absolutely love it. I mean, from a writing/narrative standpoint, I don’t think it’s the most elegant or engaging book ever written, but it’s just so raw and fresh. I don’t see many examples of an author trying to do what Rainbow did, which is build a complex emotional AND plot-driven story with so many characters and so much lore. I’m very excited for AWTWB.

9. Favourite scene from Carry On, besides Chapter 61

I like what the book does/sets up overall. Honestly probably the first scene, where Simon walks to the bus stop & takes the train and just thinks about his life and makes lists -- I love Simon. I know Rainbow said she thinks that bit is boring, but it honestly says so much about his character in a short time. (and he’s an extremely complex character!) Also, Baz’s dramatic entrance. Also, the chapter where Baz says “and I’m hopelessly in love with him” because it���s just so dramatic, and it comes out of nowhere

10. Favourite scene from Wayward Son, besides Chapter 41

Baz and Lamb’s journey across the Strip - vampire lore, jealous Simon, Baz getting to be his own character— it’s beautiful.

11. Remind us about something in canon readers might have forgotten about

Ahahaha um. Simon says he thinks Baz’s cousin Marcus is fit. That’s pretty funny.

12. What are your hopes and fears for Any Way the Wind Blows?

I don’t have any hopes because I don’t want to be disappointed - and that’s not a cynical thing, I just want to go into it with an open mind. (I’ll take a break from fandom and reread the books beforehand so I’m (more of) a blank slate) I guess just...interesting emotional journeys, whatever that ends up being. There’s a lot that Rainbow has to do in the book and I don’t think any one person could get through all of it -- that’s why we have fanfiction.

Fears? I don’t know. I think just...the series ending. Even though I’ve been in fandom for less than a year I just really love this fandom & the thought of that kind of eroding away is sad. But also I don’t think that will happen immediately, and change is a part of life. I’ve never related as much to Cath as I do now :’)

13. An unpopular/cracky opinion you hold

unpopular: Lamb is the best character; I don’t want Simon to get his magic back; both Simon and Baz should have other romantic options.

14. Something from your head fanon

Hmmmmmmm well. Just mean things about Baz really. Like that he’s weird looking, not that great at football, and actually has kind of garish fashion sense. (which is a self-roast as well - see above.) I just feel like Simon/fandom put him on a pedestal, and Simon’s an unreliable narrator re: Baz anyway. So I like the idea that Baz is this average looking kinda strange nerdy guy who is everything Simon has ever wanted in life.

And before you tell me that Baz was hot at Watford and Agatha was into him, have you ever been to a tiny boarding school? Standards get weird 😂😂😂 and Terry being into him — come on. The guy’s a violent pervert.

also - back to Watford being a tiny school. Baz doesn’t have much competition to be the star of the football team. (also, does anyone except Simon even think that he is?)

16. Favourite location other than Watford

Vegas!

17, Favourite location in Watford

I’m pretty bad at Watford lore/geography bc again, I’m way more into WS. Probably the floor in the Cloisters where everything happens the same way, just a day later. There’s a fic there, but I can’t wrap my head around all the time travel implications enough to write it.

18. What would be your favourite subject at Watford?

Any potions-esque subject because I loved chemistry lab. Latin because I loved Latin in school. Uhhhh I don’t like history class, so not that — maybe a literature course focused on the derivation of spells.

19. What would your magical implement be?

Ooh! This is a good one. I’d like to think it would be a weird body piercing. Or a belt a la Gareth. Maybe some kind of traditional south Asian jewelry, like a nose chain or mang-tikka or something. maybe a hat. like, imagine your magical instrument being a fedora and you just have to...wear a fedora all the time.

21. Favourite canon spell

Hm. Kiss it better? Candle in the wind?I should try to think of a non-horny one. honestly they’re all so cool and clever - I love the magic system in CO/WS.

22. What would your eighth year spell at Watford be or do?

Maybe something from a poem I love. That would probably be pretty but not very functional. Or a healing spell.

23. Who would you want as your roommate?

Agatha is uptight, Penny is passive aggressive, Simon is a slob, Baz is both uptight and passive aggressive.

Definitely Shepard.

24. Favourite item of merchandise, official or unofficial

My @subparselkie sticker

25. Favourite book cover design

WS. Oh, another unpopular opinion - I don’t like the kevin wada cover of carry on. their faces look so weird and the colors don’t work for me. I own the version with the blue and yellow cover art instead

26. Do you want a movie? If yes - any fan casts for the movie?

Probably wouldn’t want a movie! Because I am way too possessive of these books/this version of the story. And I am historically extremely disappointed by adaptations — I get upset with the smallest of changes 😂

27. If they made a movie, what scenes do you think they’d cut that you’d be furious were missing?

See above. A LOT haha

28. If you could ask Rainbow Rowell one question, what would it be? (If you have already, you can share if you like)

What is Lamb’s full name????? Is it actually Lamb Lambert Lamborghini the third???

What is Rainbow’s relationship with sheep and goats. Why are there so many references to them

29. Have you read any of Rainbow’s other books?

Only Fangirl

30. How did you get into Carry On and/or Carry On fandom?

I read fangirl & the pages at the end mentioned carry on, so I read that, and enjoyed it but I wasn’t obsessed. Then I read WS spring 2020, reread it a bunch of times, reread CO, freaked out about the cliffhanger/cool vampire stuff/unresolved sexual tension, had pandemic cabin fever, got on AO3, and the rest is history.

As @annabellelux knows, I wrote my first (published) fanfic after reading her amazing fic Drop The Game. and the first fanfic I read was @captain-aralias’ Greener Grass. I was so obsessed that about a month later, I searched through the AO3 tags for it, because I couldn’t remember the title or author but kept thinking about it.

[allycryz]

WOL Challenge #3: You

[Prompt List Here]

[Filled Prompt List Here]

Haurchefant x Nerys, set immediately after Ardent [Ao3 Link]

Heavensward, right after Inquisition trial and before “Keeping the Flame Alive”

Rating: T for off-screen sex, sex talk

~*This is 2K words, most of it is fluff and I revel in it*~

The Fortemps library is a grand one. Haurchefant is not certain how it compares–he has only been in Haillenarte's with Francel–but imagines it is the finest in Ishgard. His father is a man of letters, a true believer in the power of words. And one who expected his sons to follow suit.

His education differed greatly from his brothers’ the day he became a knight’s page. Even still, his lord father sent him monthly parcels of books. He was expected to read them all and send detailed reports on the contents. Had he ever kept up his thaumaturgy studies, he would have been hard-pressed to find the time.

As it was, he’d stayed up often to fit in the poetry and novels not on the list. Count Edmont was a modern man and his syllabus reflected this–vetted popular authors and poets made it into the parcels. Never in the quantity Haurchefant would have liked. And never some of the one-gil books he bought in The Pillars.

When he was a boy, there were songs for sale about body functions and noises; exaggerated tales of heroes fighting all manner of beasts and foes. As a youth, these became long, violent epics of battles and bravery. As a young man: lurid poems and explicit romance novels. Some as grand and sweeping as the classical romances his Father promoted. Some were not.

He has managed to introduce some contemporary poets into the collection. Not all. Edmont’s tastes in poetry run more traditional. Some of the rising stars of the field are roundly rejected.

Haurchefant is working on that.

Today, he feels romantic in both classic and literal senses. And as his Father has ordered him to stay for a day and night, indulging in a novel sounds just the thing.  It seems that getting trapped in a blizzard–even if things had gone fine, more than fine–means your noble father turns to such decrees.

At least, that is what it means now they are growing close, as they never had been. Another miracle Nerys has wrought with her coming. And as Haurchefant has full faith in Corentiaux and the rest...he allows himself to be thus ordered. 

Someone else is in the library. He can sense it soon as he enters. A soldier learns to tell when others are near, even in safe environs such as this. Haurchefant softens his footfalls, peering about the shelves. There, in the alcove reserved for study, he finds the source of today’s romantic mood.

Nerys looks up, eyes turning soft. His heart swells in his chest, his mouth cannot help but smile. It’s unstoppable and he does not ever want it to cease. Was it really only yesterday? That she told me my love was returned?

It seems a dream now, albeit the sweetest one he has ever had.

Her hands sweep at the papers she has laid out, pulling them into a stack. Flips over the one on top. “Hello.”

“Hello, my dear.” How nice to call her that. “I thought you were on a shopping expedition with Emmanellain?”

“I was.” She touches her neckline. So caught up in her eyes, he hadn’t noticed the gown she wore.

Scarlet as the unicorn on his shield, set off with dangling garnets in her ears. The heart-shaped neckline shows off her elegant neck and collar bones. The sleeves are slashed to reveal white fabric beneath and the cuffs have delicate pearls. “I found this. For when I’m here at the manor and not about to fight Inquisitors or dragons.”

“You are breathtaking in it.” He circles the table to take her hand. Bows over it before pressing his mouth to her knuckles. Etiquette demands he should kiss the air above it but surely exceptions are made for lovers. 

She is my lover now, he thinks in wonder. Her cheeks stain with a fetching indigo shade. “My lord is kind.”

Haurchefant drops to one knee before his lady and turns her hand. Her palm is just as lovely to kiss. “Your lord means everything he says. But if you require further proof of my ardor…”

Nerys darts a glance about before tilting up his chin. Her kiss is sweet and soft and not a little heated. Would that he might lay her upon the table in this temple of learning and know her better.

Alas, Nerys has asked for discretion. Time to better acquaint themselves as lovers before declaring themselves. They are still friends–always will be, if he has anything to do with it–but this dynamic is new and strange. Haurchefant can understand why the most public figure in Eorzea might want some measure of privacy. 

Though, he reflects as he parts from her. Half the fun would be keeping quiet and avoiding discovery.

“I know that look,” she says. “You’re thinking of something lascivious.”

“When I had this look before I confessed, what did you think it meant?”

“The same,” she admits. “But that your love of innuendo was good-natured teasing.”

He heaves a sigh. Either he is not as obvious as Estinien always accuses him or she’d been in deep, deep denial. “Dearest love, how-”

The library doors bang open and the culprit whistles as he walks inside. Haurchefant rises, knowing exactly who it is before he comes into view.

“Old Girl! Old Man!” Emmanellain grins. “You didn’t tell me we were having a party in the library.”

“Impetuous Youth,” Haurchefant shoots back. “What if one of us was deep in study?”

“Oh I don’t deal in ‘what-ifs’. You two are having a conversation, not studying; ergo all is well.” 

“He has a point. I think,” says Nerys. “By the by, if Haurchefant is ‘Old Man’, what do you call your eldest brother?”

The two men exchange looks. Smile. Say in unison, “Artoirel.”

Nerys groans and flaps both hands at them in dismissal. “Go fetch whatever you two were looking for. I am actually working on something.”

“Am I to be banished for my baby brother’s crimes?” Haurchefant presses a hand to his heart. “Mistress Eluned, you wound me.”

“If I must be quiet and meek like a mouse, so must you. After all, I am the true leader of our brotherly trio.”

“You are right of course. I could never compare to you.” Haurchefant shakes his head. “Very well, Impetuous Youth. As mice scurry to cheese, let us go to the books we seek.”

“Ordered to seek,” Emmanellian mutters. “I’m to review Ymbelet’s Theorem of Command and deliver a report. As if we hadn’t put our schooling well behind us.”

Haurchefant does his best to soothe his brother. They quiet down at last: the younger man taking his volume off to his chambers, the elder settling into an armchair within eyesight of Nerys. (Far enough away that she may stop hiding her work.)

His novel is a work of popular fiction he’d garnered approval to stock here. No erotic scenes, but romantic enough. Should he ever get his eyes to stay on the page.

Alas, the white-haired sorcerer-king and his beloved princess and his soul-eating sword are no match for the Warrior of Light. The curve of her cheek. The braided coronet of purple and white hair, crowning her while the rest of her curls are a lovely raiment over her shoulders. The quirk to her dark, sweet lips.

She lifts those golden eyes, meeting him. If he were not already lovestruck and bedazzled, that gaze would ensnare him. He smiles and lifts his shoulders in a helpless shrug. Haurchefant isn’t sorry for lingering before a sunset; and that natural wonder is naught in comparison.

“My lord,” says Nerys, her voice carrying. “May I help you?”

“Nay, Mistress.” He shakes his head. “Simply exist as you are and I am satisfied.”

That is when Alphinaud bursts in, looking drawn and pale. If Haurchefant is annoyed at another interruption, that vanishes at the sight. He jumps to his feet. “My lad! Are you alright?”

The youth shakes his head. “Nerys. Tataru has grave news about General Aldynn. We must be off at once.”

She rises, hurrying over in a rush of white and red silk. In an instant she has changed from playfulness to resolute determination. Always ready to become The Warrior, his Nerys. 

“Do you require anything?” He asks them. “You know my sword is yours, as is any resource at our disposal.”

Alphnaud shakes his head. “No one must see us enter Thanalan or leave. As soon as we cross back into Coerthas, we’ll send word.”

“I thank you. If you needs must bring the General somewhere safe, Camp Dragonhead’s doors are open to you.” If he must return to his command rather than fight at her side, at least he might be of some use to her. He loves–truly loves–his role but lately, his dearest wish is to be a shield at her back and a sword in her arsenal.

Ah, well, even Sorcerer-Kings do not get all they want. Why should he?

He dips into a sweeping bow to them both. Alphinaud returns it before rushing out, every emotion writ upon his usually perfect diplomat’s mask. Should the General die, the youth will carry it as he does everything else that occurred with the Braves. Haurchefant sends a prayer to Halone, asking for mercy on him.

Nerys takes his hand. Squeezes it. He squeezes it back. She smiles before picking up her skirts and rushing afterward.

It proves impossible to focus after that, even more than before. For a moment he entertains armoring up and following. This isn’t Dragonhead and so none of the knights with orders to keep him safe are here. (That time with Iceheart, Corentiaux had actually sat upon him.)

But they have asked he stay behind. So he will.

Haurchefant can take care of Nerys’ papers for her. He means to pointedly not look at the contents. He truly does. But he sees a piece of paper with his name on top, another with his last name, and his resolve crumbles.

The first piece of paper is titled “Minako” in large, neat letters. Beneath are names like Mamoru, Umino, Motoki. Her Yellow Chocobo is named Minako. Therefore, this is for…

The next sheet of paper confirms his suspicions. Under the heading “Black Chocobo” are the names Endymion, Starlight, Twilight, Onyx. Below that, a subheading “Elegance” with virtue monikers: Noble, Dignity, Charming.

And so, when he arrives to the last three papers (titled “Haurchefant”, “Greystone”, and “Fortemps”), he cannot contain his joy. The little note scribbled atop “Haurchefant” tickles him further. He gave you the Chocobo and you adore him. Will he be offended? He might be offended. 

Haurchefant is certainly not offended. 

He delights in the candidates, even some of the ones she crossed out. Sadly, there is no option for “Haurchefant” or “Haurchefant II.” I suppose that might get confusing.

Grinning, he picks up her leather folio and tucks her work inside. Hopefully, she will forgive his snooping because he has some ideas about this.

--

The Lord Commander’s bed at Camp Dragonhead may be the most comfortable place in Eorzea.

Nerys should get up to clean, brush her teeth, all the little nighttime rituals. But she is so pleasantly exhausted and the blankets are so soft and warm. She stretches, luxuriating in the feel of them against her skin. It has been a harrowing few days since her abrupt departure from Ishgard. But all is well and now, she feels nothing but comfort.

The bed could be warmer with her companion. But then she wouldn’t get to see his bare bottom as he slips into the bathroom. Halone must adore him to bless him with such a lovely rear.

“My love,” he calls after a while. “I have a confession to make.”

“Oh? Should I be worried?”

“I hope not.” He returns with a washcloth, his black silk robe barely closed against the cold. The fireplace sends flickers of light across his sculpted chest.  “I may be overstepping but...I must say that I truly adore the name Grey. Though Tempsy is charming. Also, may I suggest Haurchon?”

What does he...oh. Oh! Nerys groans and buries her face in a pillow. She had been in such haste to rescue Raubahn–rightfully so!–that she had left all her papers there. All face up, all in the open.

The mattress dips as Haurchefant sits beside her. One hand strokes her hair, gentle and sweet. “I should not have pried but Nerys–my dearest one–I am utterly and truly touched by the idea. Though of course, if you pick a different name I will not be offended.”

“I only...well, I wouldn’t have him if not for you,” she mutters into the pillow, heat filling her face. “And if not for him, we wouldn’t have been in Coerthas that day.”

“So we owe him a great honor, for bringing us together at last.” His lips press against her bare shoulder. “Of course, the truest honor would be to name him after yourself-”

She turns then, mortification at last leaving her. Cups his face in her hands. “I am not playing this game where we go on for hours about who is better.  Let’s agree it’s you and end it there.”

“Oh my love,” he sighs, bending down to her. “Though you are wrong, I must obey if it proves to you the depth of my regard.”

“I know another way you could prove it,” she says, pulling him atop her.

--

Grey likes his name.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #384

“watch your tongue or have it cut from your head”

Do you post to say happy birthday on other people’s walls? Sometimes. Depends on my mood and the person. When was the last time you saw a rainbow? Idr. What’s your favorite television commercial? I don't watch TV enough at all to have one. And who has a favorite commercial, anyway? Do you trip a lot? I don't really trip a lot, but kinda fumble over my footing and stray a bit. I'm horrible at walking straight, and it's gotten worse as my legs have. How old is your television? The one in the living room is god knows how old. My parents were still together when they bought it. When did you last talk on the phone with someone? A couple days ago for my appointment with my psychiatrist. Are you currently sleepy? I'm quite convinced I'm permanently tired. Are you hot or cold natured? I am ALWAYS fucking hot, ugh. Do you take any advanced classes? I took mostly Honors classes in school. Do you have weak upper body strength? My body is just weak as a whole. What is the worst insult someone can call you? Emotionally weak. Are you good at sketching? If we're talking meerkats, haha. They're the only complex thing that I can freehand no problem without needing a reference, honestly. Ever play Angry Birds? Nah. I thought the movie was cute, though. Have you ever been to the zoo before? Yeah. Has anyone ever been weirdly obsessed with you? No. Are you afraid someone might steal your identity someday? It's not something I actively worry about at all. Like, you don't want my identity, I promise. Do you have any talents that come naturally? Growing up, adults always told me I was a "gifted" artist and writer. Also that I seem to have an unnaturally strong connection with animals. I've always been that person where a pet's owner is like "omg ____ never lets people do that" and whatnot. Have you ever had plastic surgery before? I haven't. It's funny though, how opposed to it I used to be... Like goddamn, I was such a fucking stupid and honestly judgmental teenager, regarding many things. I look back on her and cringe. Like damn dude, if you have a safe surgical procedure to help you enjoy the body you're stuck with the rest of your life, you go for it, boo. Are you afraid of airplane rides? Not really. What’s the best Valentine’s Day gift you’ve gotten? There was this one year where Jason had to go to work on Valentine's Day and I was super bummed, yet he still surprised me with a heart-shaped box of chocolates, roses, and a game I really wanted, Heavy Rain. I thought it was the sweetest. What is something you lose often? My phone. ;-; Do you enter a lot of sweepstakes? I don't enter any. Do you consider yourself physically active? *chuckles nervously* Do you have Netflix? Yeah. Favorite salad dressing? That Olive Garden replica you can buy at the store. Do you enjoy dancing? Once upon a time I did. My body could never handle it now. Have you ever considered writing a novel? Many times. Snow or sand? Snow, by twenty thousand miles. It is VERY hard for me to walk through sand, and I also hate hate hate hate HATE the sensation. Do you like sour candy? Heeeeeell yeah man. Have you gotten any injuries lately? If so, what & how? Nothing notable. Are you a clumsy person? Like you would not fucking believe. Last male you talked to in person? I think my primary physician's nurse. Are you thinking about asking anyone out? No. Pink lemonade or regular lemonade? Pink lemonade, for sure. But I love both. Chocolate or strawberry milk? CHOCOLATE. Strawberry milk is disgusting. Have you ever won a contest on the radio?No. Is there a song that reminds you of your best friend? There's quite a few. Has a book ever made you cry? Yes. Do you automatically check your phone when you wake up? Yes, for the time. Do you know anyone who has a pet bunny? Not that I'm aware. What store or website would you most like a gift card for? Rebel's Market. How do you feel about wolves? I adore wolves. Beautiful, majestic creatures with very interesting social dynamics. Name your top 3 favorite musical instruments. Electric guitar, violin, piano. What was the last book(s) you bought at a bookstore? At an actual bookstore, I think it was The Fault In Our Stars, which I never actually read. Do you use Pinterest? Yes. Do you know any sign language? No. Do you have a favorite poem? No. Do you have a dog? No. The one we were pretty much stuck with has a home now. Have you ever read The Little House on the Prairie series? I haven't. Have you ever gone on a service trip to an underprivileged country? No. Have you ever performed in front of more than 100 people? Yes, for dance. When (if ever) was the last time you went to church? Forever ago, I don't even remember the last time. What's a quote you think is really powerful? There's a whole lot. The first one that came to mind was, "An eye for an eye will leave the world blind," which I do believe has great depth in it. Have you ever had to do your laundry at a laundromat? Yes. Are you the oldest person who lives in your household? No. My mom is turning 60 (... I think?) this year. If you have tattoos, how long have you had them? I got my first the day I turned 18. Do you and your dad have similar personalities? We're alike in some ways, imo most notably in that we have NO fucking common sense, embarrassing as that is to admit. We're both kinda slow at understanding things, too. What were the last three things you had to drink? Mountain Lightning, milk, and water. What did your family usually do for Easter when you were a kid? Us three kids all got Easter baskets full of stuff, and we'd go egg-hunting when we were all awake. My little sister Nicole would always wake our parents up in excitement, haha. My parents hid plenty throughout the house, and there was always this one "special" egg that was actually from Mom's childhood and was extremely intricate and beautiful. You basically "won" the hunt if you found it, and it was extremely well-hidden. When you have house guests over, where do they sleep? Historically since living here, my two half-sisters and their spouses (the only people who've stayed over) slept in what is *technically* Mom's room, but for whatever reason this woman still insists on sleeping on the couch in the living room, I guess because she's used to it after all the years she didn't have her own room and bed. Are you emotionally stable? LOLOOLOLOOLLOLOOLOOLOLLOOLOLLLLLLLLLLL Do you still talk to the very first person you had sex with? No. Are you an atheist? No. I don't quite know how to define what I am, but since I believe there's SOME higher power, I don't think it's fitting to call me an atheist. What’s the largest bug you’ve ever found in your house? Hm... I'm unsure. Probably a male mosquito, 'cuz them bitches are big'ins. Would it annoy you if a stranger called you "sweetie?" If it was a man, I'd be creeped out. Are you into fashion design? Not really. What’s the worst thing you’ve gone through in the past year? My leg muscles continuing to degrade, honestly. I have to do something about this shit. How did you get your last bruise? I fell when stepping over the stupid dog gate. Have your parents ever forgotten your birthday? Yikes, no. Would you rather have some bacon or beef jerky? Bacon. Do you like your orange juice with lots or no pulp? NONE. Do you wear skinny jeans? Back when I wore jeans, they were the only kind I wore. What projects are you doing now for school? I'm outta school. What’s the most number of comments you have on a Facebook picture? What is the picture of? I have no idea. Do you like coconut flavored things? No. Have you ever met a famous author before? No. Do you know anybody who has been raped before? No, thank god. I know someone who might've almost been, though. I don't know what the fucking pig was going to do to her if my sister and I weren't there. Have you ever wished for bigger boobs? No. Being overweight, I just want smaller ones now, haha. Have you ever gone a full day without interacting with another person? I've gone many days without it. How many relationships have you been in that lasted less than a year? Four, if you're counting everyone that had the "boyfriend" title. Where were you going the last time you were on a plane? Home from Illinois. Where were you going the last time you were on a train? I've never been on one. Have you ever been significantly more physically fit than you are now? Holy fuck, yes. You would never guess now that I was perfectly healthy in high school especially, yet I still thought I was kinda fat. It hurts so much to look back on. When growing up, did you parents keep the house very tidy? I mean not excessively, but Mom was pretty dedicated to keeping the house in decent condition. With three kids though, of course the house was somewhat messy with toys and all. When you shop at IKEA, do you always stop to eat a snack/meal in the cafeteria? ... There's a fucking cafeteria in a furniture store? o_o I've never been there before. How many watches do you own? None, save for one in my "treasure box" from when I was a kid. I was SO SO SO obsessed with Finding Nemo that I kept my broken one. I did the same with my horribly aged sneakers, like the soles were coming off and Mom finally made me stop wearing them, ha. Are there any ways in which you greatly differ from everyone else in your family? I do fucking nothing and am useless to society. Should teenagers be allowed to have their cell phones with them in class? Yes, because emergencies happen. I personally think it's best to maybe have your cell phone flipped over on the corner of your desk or something and on vibrate, that way the noise isn't too disruptive and the teacher can see you're not just using it for other purposes. Do you have any gay relatives? Yes. Have you ever had to have a pet put down? Sigh, multiple. Have you unfollowed, deleted, or blocked anyone on social media recently? If so, what was the reason? Not recently. How many cups of coffee do you typically drink per day? None. Do you know what your vocal range is? No, but it's not very broad. What’s the biggest financial mistake you’ve ever made? I haven't been in this position before. Have you ever been in a relationship where there was a large difference in maturity levels? No. What’s the longest you’ve ever stayed as a guest at someone’s house? I wanna say over a month while we were technically homeless. How bad was your acne when you were a teenager? Oh dear, it was rough. Like there were people who had it worse than me, but ya girl was lookin preeeetty rough lmao.

[butchhamlet]

i cannot BELIEVE you would expose me like this alkdhslghdsd but edmund/hamlet really is the final form of my bad shakespeare shipping. anyway if you have any more ideas on how that trainwreck would end........i am Looking

okay i absolutely adore what you wrote in your tags about how they might have met at wittenberg & how edmund could possibly fit into an AU version of the plot. unfortunately i cannot take anything that i enjoy seriously, ever, so i present the cursed modern AU version of this

yes they do meet in college and they notice each other bc both of them are smart as HELL and good at reading people and they have edgy loner solidarity

edmund knows hamlet is like... RICH rich so he makes Contact. probably by, like,,,,, approaching him at a party or smthn when hamlet is standing in the corner with his coat buttoned all the way up while everyone else has fun

edmund has been methodically sleeping his way through their grade (are they still called grades in college i don’t know what tf i am talking about) and horatio - who is ALSO a good judge of character but also a little scared of edmund - has him pretty much figured out and he’s like “hamlet. listen to me. do not sleep with him”

“don’t worry horatio i know”

“this is just like with laertes you have a thing for men who could obliterate you -”

“don’t WORRY horatio i’m not gonna sleep with him it’s FINE”

[jump cut to hamlet waking up in edmund’s dorm room]

i know calling hamlet an emo teen is a flattening of his character but i still imagine all modern AU versions of him as goth-adjacent anyway because i think it’s funny. and i think edmund has the power to be, like, punk

what i’m saying is they share punk clothes and maybe go to a concert together

i do not think hamlet has ever had a fling with someone without falling for them completely (it happened with laertes. it happened with ophelia. it probably happened with fortinbras but we don’t talk about that) and edmund is not... entirely used to this? but he’ll admit to himself that it’s kind of nice to have someone who seems to actually value his opinion/thoughts as much as his body. also hamlet writes him terrible terrible love poems and edmund is flattered but also... like... WHAT is he supposed to do with these. these aren’t even good enough to plagiarize

i mean, what is he supposed to do other than learn hamlet’s handwriting but that’s a given --

(horatio knocking his head against the wall noises)

(he’s not going to get involved goddamnit whatever. WHAT ever just let it happen. maybe hamlet will learn something. but probably not)

in the end i don’t think anything awful happens i just think they break up because edmund loses his patience with hamlet’s need to Think About Everything So Much All The Time.

i personally hc hamlet as having ocd (CANNOT find the post i reblogged about it now but i have ocd and like. see a lot of myself in him. they call it the doubting disorder for a reason <3)

but either way, i think he’s a very thoughtful person, sometimes to a degree that stresses him out, even before his father dies -- and edmund is just... not that way. at all

and look! it gets exhausting! hamlet thinks edmund’s reckless and edmund just doesn’t wanna go THROUGH it all with him man like we don’t have to make another fucking flowchart about where to go to dinner or whatever --

plus there are. some things about hamlet that remind him a little bit of edgar sometimes and like. THAT’S not a thought you want to have about your hook up partner!

AND like you said, macy, they have totally different ways of showing affection - hamlet is much less expressive about affection, physically or verbally, even though he takes it more seriously on an internal level, and edmund just... that is not his love language! physical touch is HUGE for him and there’s kind of a disconnect between them there

PLUS plus part of edmund’s motivation in the first place was “rich kid” because he can’t be normal about relationships. but hamlet, like, doesn’t talk about his family anyway and kind of pretends they don’t exist. and honestly edmund does the same thing with regards to his family so they can’t even bond over the weird family dynamics in their life because they’re just both like... [covering their eyes]

so they break up

but when i say they “break up” i mean that edmund ghosts him for two weeks to go hook up with other people because he never took the whole thing very seriously anyway

and hamlet shows up at his dorm to figure out what the fuck is going on and they have a whole argument because hamlet is really, really good at making conversations into arguments and also was fully convinced he was edmund’s Boyfriend, capital-B

and hamlet ends up sobbing on the phone about it to horatio

who is, like... kind of vindicated but he knows saying so would be unnecessarily mean. but in his head he’s like. did i tell you or did i tell you

“no offense, my lord, but did you actually think this was going to happen differently -”

hamlet, in tears: “YES”

at some point in the following months edmund hooks up with laertes and it’s the worst day of hamlet’s life